Small Steps of Faith

2011-05-02T12:31:00.001-07:00

We are working on taking another small step of faith on our military journey. Dave is in the last weeks of his CPE training and we have been assigned back to Fort Drum, NY. We are excited to get back to the east coast, close to family. I'm also excited to be going somewhere I already know. I don't like change and it takes me months to figure out how to get around new places. Going back to Drum feels like putting on an old comfy sweatshirt - "hello, old friend." We've added to our family since we left Drum and now need a bigger house. We made do with a 3 bedroom when we were there last time by having two of the kids bunk up. Even at that time we were allowed to have a 4 bedroom but there weren't any readily available on post. This time, we want 5 bedrooms. We'd still have the girls bunk together and use the 5th room as an office for Dave to finish his work on his DMin which he has to do as part of his follow up to this year long course he's been doing. We wanted to get a feel for what the wait was going to be like so we called the housing office. We were told 18-24 months! 18-24 months?!?! Ummmm....we're only going to be there 3 years so I don't want to sit around waiting for housing for 2/3 of that time! We started looking for a 5 bedroom (or 4 bed with an office) house that would suit our needs that we could rent. We found one in our price range but it went into a lease right before we inquired about it. We couldn't find any other suitable houses for rent. And so we come to our step of faith...we are buying a house! We decided we like the area enough that we might want to return someday and we are supposed to be there 3 years this go around so it is the right thing for us. What a trip though! We are on the other side of the country, working with a realtor and having Dave's parents go up to see a bunch of houses in our stead. We found one we really like and are working on all the details now. Wow, it's definitely more nerve wracking buying a house this time around then it was the first time we bought a home. But, we believe God is in control and we are just trying to go one step at a time.

A Washington Sunset

2011-01-28T17:27:00.000-08:00

We were privileged to witness an amazing sunset last night. When most days are dreary and overcast, a sight like this is a balm to the soul.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens...

...and makes its circuit to the other;

...nothing is deprived of its warmth.

Psalm 19:1-6

2010-11-03T17:08:00.001-07:00

Just realized I forgot to add the picture from my son's birthday. So, if you care, here they are!

On the morning of his actual birthday he got "special doughnuts" for breakfast before church - cinnamon rolls with orange colored vanilla icing.

2010-11-03T16:59:00.001-07:00

Wow, where does the time go? Let's see. Homeschooling our son is going well. I am using a kindergarten curriculum even though he just turned 4. He's doing very well at it and I have actually ended up ordering a second set of the student's workbook so I can do the lessons in the morning with him and his 5 year old sister, to supplement what she is learning in Kindergarten. Our oldest is loving piano lessons though it makes for a very busy Wednesday as we also have AWANA for the 3 oldest kids. The baby is fabulous! I'm telling you she is the happiest, most easy going baby I've ever encountered. She has been sleeping through the night for a long time now. She currently has a cold but is just as smiley and happy as ever. She's 3.5 months old and already rolls from her back to tummy every time I put her on the floor. Yes, I know, most babies roll from tummy to back first, and not this early. I almost wish she would figure that out 'cause she only likes being on her tummy for a short while and then she fusses but can't figure out how to get back onto her back! Silly girl. She's working on laughing too. Half the time she tries to laugh and only manages to give herself a case of the hiccups which makes me laugh! I love all my babies!
Our son recently had a birthday and we had a party for him. I think he had quit the celebration -especially since we celebrated as a family on his birthday then had a party a week later. Nothing like extended celebrations! I'll add pictures. I tried a new technique for his cake and was really pleased with the results, especially considering it took less than half the time my old method would take and my hand/wrist didn't hurt when I was done! :-)

Dave's course is moving along. We've been notified of the available positions for after CPE. We are really hoping and praying God wants us back on the east coast. It'd be nice to be closer to family again. It's all in God's hands and I trust He'll put us in the best place. I can say, even from our relatively short military experience, that while we have thought we wanted one thing, what God does always ends up being a great thing! So, we put in our requests and let God take care of the rest. And if the list comes out, and we don't get what we'd really like, we'll have to gear up for an adventure and prepare for what God is going to bless us with as we follow His will.

Fall is here

2010-09-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

Whether I was ready for it or not, fall has come...and with it school and rainy days. I enjoyed a beautiful summer here in Washington State but I'm not sure I'm going to like fall, winter, and spring. I'm not a fan of being wet and it seems to be a constant state here this time of year.

Our oldest daughter started 3rd grade this year. It was an interesting start, to say the least. They had more students than they had expected so decided to add another 3rd grade class at the last minutes, meaning they didn't have a teacher. Of course, she got assigned to that class! They started the year with a substitute while the school worked on hiring a full time teacher. Her new teacher started today. He visited the class this week and she said he seemed nice. We shall see how things go. She is also in an outside building so she doesn't get to know the other kids in her grade, other than those who are in her class. She picked her seat during orientation. She picked a table with all boys, saying she wanted to be a role model for them! :-) Now she says she wished she hadn't picked that table 'cause the boys are really bad. One even had to be moved to a different table. All that said, she is enjoying school.

Our 5 year old started kindergarten! We didn't start the year on a great foot though. They assigned orientation times for the kindergarteners to come in, bring in their supplies, meet the teacher, etc. and I completely forgot about it! I called the school and was able to get squeezed in at another time but I hated that we had missed the first one. She only goes for 2.5 hours a day. She got into the full day kindergarten but then I found out they charge $300 a month for all day at a public school!?!?! The part day is free. Yeah, if I'm gonna pay to send my kid to kindergarten, she's going to go to private school. I'm not paying for public school.

We are in the walk zone for the school so I have to walk them to and from school every day - that's three round trips a day! Each round trip is 1.3 miles so I get almost 4 miles of walking every day. The baby just comes along in the stroller and my 3 year old does fantastic walking all that time too! The 5 year old isn't fond of the 2.6 miles she has to do every day - she's more of a slow wanderer so walking on a mission doesn't fit her style and she'll start whining toward the end of every walk. Of course, the oldest only has to walk 1.3 miles every day - half in the morning and half in the afternoon so she doesn't mind at all. I certainly don't enjoy the walks in the rain but I got a plastic cover for the stroller and we all have rainboots. I can't justify driving somewhere that close, unless maybe it's just pouring buckets - this constant drizzle/mist just has to be tolerated.

We tried to put our 3 year old in a Christian preschool but with the girls school schedules, I couldn't figure it out. Being just one person, I couldn't be in two places at once and no matter where I tried to send him, I would have had to find a way to do that. So, after much consideration I decided to try to homeschool him. I did that for half of kindergarten for our oldest and it didn't go well but I thought I would give it another try. Different child, different experience, right? I bought the My Fathers World kindergarten program, even though he's just preschool age because it seemed simple enough for him to grasp easily and was a very hands on/activity focused curriculum, I thought. That seemed good for an active 3 year old. If all goes well this year, I'll just reorder the student workbook and do the year all over again. I realize this might mean he'll be bored out of his mind when he actually goes to kindergarten though. We started the same day the girls started school. He's loving it! We've made it through the first 6 days of creation and he's learned his letters A-N. I won't say he's perfect at them yet, but he's got a decent grasp on them and isn't expected to know them all perfectly yet. He is only 3, after all! We do his homeschooling during the time in the afternoon when both girls are also at school.

Baby girl is doing awesome! She's already 2 months old. When did that happen? She's a perfect baby too. She remains pretty easy going, sleeping and eating well. She generally wakes up just once a night to eat - going to bed around 10, waking at 4 to eat, and then sleeping until I get her up so we can start our school walk. She's started smiling and cooing at us and it's amazing, even after 3 other babies! Her whole face literally lights up when she smiles. It goes straight to her eyes which sparkle, like she wants to laugh but hasn't quite figured out how yet.

Dave has finished his first unit of CPE. Three more to go. It's really intense and at times emotionally draining for him. He's learning a lot though. I have to admit I am glad he's the one doing it and not me. I have no interest in being that self aware or having anyone pry into my life the way these Chaplains have to during this course!! He's frustrated now with the traffic trying to get home in the evenings though. 3BCT's are back now and there are just too many soldiers trying to get off post at the same time in the evenings now. A commute that once took him 25-30 minutes now takes about 55! That's particularly hard since the kids have to go to bed earlier now that school has started. So he gets home, we fix dinner and it's just about bedtime for them. Hard to have any family time. We'll manage. Weekends and days off are important to us now and we try to make the most of them. We recently enjoyed the labor day weekend by taking a trip out to Ocean Shores, WA. We got a cottage and enjoyed walks on the beach, flying kites, beachcombing for shells and sand dollars, campfires and smores, and fresh seafood. It was a relaxing and enjoyable way to end our summer.

Our oldest started piano lessons this week and is really excited about it. The same day the older 3 kids all started Awana. I have one in T and T, one in Sparks, and one in Cubbies. They had a blast and can't wait to go back again. My little guy even earned his Cubby vest on the first night. I guess all those years of listening to his sisters say their verses paid off!

As you can see, if you managed to read through the whole post, we have been super busy! I love my life though, crazy as it may be. Having 4 kids may be chaotic but it also fills life with love and laughter and that's the only way to live!

A new addition

2010-08-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

Our family has gone through quite a change since my last entry. We settled into our home here in Washington, Dave has been submerged in his CPE course which is really intense and often emotionally draining...and, oh, yeah, we had a baby! Things could not have gone better. She was born at 12:35 in the afternoon, coming in at 8 pounds, 12 ounces and measuring just slightly over 21 inches. There weren't any complications from the 4th C-section though I did develop a fun skin infection after the fact. It's been treated and all is well now. I am incredibly thankful that I did not have a single migraine in this pregnancy. It was an almost perfect pregnancy. I had some morning sickness at the beginning but then felt great!! I only gained 26 pounds (which is half what I gained with any of the others) and felt so good the whole time. We took a trip to the Olympic Peninsula just a couple weeks before the baby was born and I hiked through the forest and climbed over huge driftwood logs to get to the beach. It was too beautiful not to explore.

My little girl is a perfect baby. Hardly ever fusses unless I don't get to feeding her fast enough. She sleeps at night, for the most part. We've only had a few nights in the last month that she has not wanted to let me sleep. Her siblings are completely smitten with her. They fight over who gets to take her diapers upstairs to the diaper pail and who will pick out her clothes for the day. She gets lots of hugs and kisses every day. We enjoyed my mom being here for the first week after we brought her home from the hospital (we really missed not having my dad here but talked to him on the computer) and Dave's parents here for a week after that. Life with 4 children is certainly hectic but I love it! :-) My oldest (8 years old) has really stepped up to the plate lately. The last 2 mornings she has woken up and fixed cereal and juice for herself and her brother and sister so that I could sleep in. She does a great job, even putting the cereal, milk, and juice away. And she started doing this without being asked which I think is very impressive!

In non baby news, my 5 year old has a memory like a steel trap. I am constantly amazed at how she can recount conversations from weeks ago, word for word. I am certainly going to have to be careful what i say around her because she doesn't seem to forget a thing! We read Bible stories every night an din an effort to make sure they pay attention, ask the kids to tell us what the story was about when we are done reading, as well as asking what the story was from the night before. She can basically retell the stories in detail everytime. A recent story was about Ruth. At the end they said that Ruth had Obed, Obed had Jesse and Jesse had David. My husband asked if the kids knew who David was and my 3 year old son promptly responds "me!"

Since our big news is the birth of our daughter, I have included some pictures. Enjoy!!

One week, 12 states, 4 time zones, and one dream fulfilled!

2010-06-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the last month or so. The last weekend of May was spent with packers and movers, clearing out our home on Fort Drum. It was an adventure. Even after doing a physical inspection, they did not come with enough room on their truck for all our stuff. That meant that we had to pick and choose which things went on the first truck and everything else would be picked up the next day, taken to a warehouse, put on a different freight truck and eventually delivered to us. I was not happy about it, but there was nothing that could be done at that point. There was also a screw up with a shipment of baby furniture coming from my sister's house in VA but more about that later. We spent our last days in NY at the Fort Drum Inn, where we had spent over a month 2 years before when we first arrived. Tuesday, June 1, after Dave signed out, we got on the road to start an epic journey.

A tired little boy!

The highlight of the trip for Dave was a stop at the University of Notre Dame. It's always been his dream to see the football field so he sent an email to the athletic department, letting them know we would be passing through and asking if there was any way he could see it. They went above and beyond! They arranged a private tour of the campus, specifically the football field, locker rooms (which nobody is usually allowed into), the box seats. Dave was overwhelmed to say the least. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He got to actually touch the Play like a champion and Notre Dame signs that the players hit when they are preparing to go on the field. We got to walk out to the field through the tunnel, just like the players. It was really neat and a dream fulfilled for him. And it came about because the guy who got the email has a special appreciation for the military (his son was in the air force and was killed during a training accident) and wanted to show it. Here are some pictures from that adventure:

We passed through 112 states on our week long journey. The kids favorite parts were probably the hotel pools (we even had one that had an indoor slide!) and a stop at a restaurant called Buffalo Phils where their food was delivered by a toy train. I have to admit, it was really cool! :-)

South Dakota was my favorite state. There was so much to do and see there. We didn't get to everything but we did slow down a little and take 2 days to pass through the state. Our first priority was to see Mount Rushmore. That was a neat experience and the walking around was probably good for me, even at 33 weeks pregnant, after being in the car so much!

We took a detour and drove through the South Dakota Badlands:

Visited Bear Country USA where we drove through the wildlife habitats. There were animals camped out in the road and the bears came right up to the car. We were warned to keep the windows all rolled up and to honk the horn if there was a problem. It was cool but a little unnerving to be that close to the bears!

We also stopped at an Indian Village where the kids dug for arrowheads and learned to throw a spear!

We also made a stop at the world famous corn palace. That was pretty cool. All the murals were made out of corn! They change it every year to a different theme.

We passed through wind turbine country or as my 3 year old son called them "big fans." There were hundreds, maybe thousands of them.

Finally we made it to Washington, got in contact with the driver of the truck with the first load of our household goods and was told he'd be delivering them the next day. We pressed a couple hours farther into Washington then we had intended so that we could be at our house first thing in the morning, ready to accept our shipment. We waited and waited and finally called the company to find out they never even attempted a delivery, just put our stuff in storage. I was really upset! According to our paperwork, they are supposed to wait at least 2 hours before putting our stuff in storage but they didn't even try to come to the house, even after we had talked to the driver the day before to say that we would be there. We did some calling around and they worked out a different delivery date for us. In the meantime, we went to Fort Lewis, got me into the system and an appointment with a nurse to start my OB care there. My wonderful friend and fellow Chaplains wife who happens to live around here, stopped by our first day and dropped off a yummy meal and other necessities. She also agreed to watch my kids when I went in for my first doctor's appointment since I didn't know anyone else yet so didn't have babysitters!

Our first load of household goods arrived, with a broken entertainment center and a torn leather recliner. They took the piece of the entertainment center back to the warehouse to see if it could be fixed. I've called the company and they say the piece is with the repair man. We'll see what they have to say.

The second load of our goods arrived and filled our garage. Finally, the third load, the baby furniture from Virginia came. Here's what happened: we told them there was about 200 pounds of furniture and that was it. Somehow they got the message that there was 7000 pounds of stuff to pack! There were some phone calls that got mixed up leading to that issue. The ladies that arrived to pack the stuff didn't have anything to pack and they only came in a van. So, they headed back to MD. About halfway there, they got a call from their boss telling them to go back to the house and put the furniture in their van to bring to the warehouse where it would be put on a freight truck. Great! They managed to get it all in their van. However, when it arrived here, they had lost the box with all the hardware for the crib. To make matters worse, the company that makes the crib no longer makes them in Italy and no longer carries the bolts we needed. We looked everywhere for the right bolts but they are an odd size, apparently. Not to be found. So, we have a bunch of useless wood, in essence. That will be a fun claim. Not!

We've been attending one of the campus churches of Mars Hill. The kids love it, which is always a plus. Our campus meets in a movie theater. I bet you've never sat in more comfortable seats for church - nice reclining theater seats! :-) I've enjoyed it. Our first Sunday the sermon itself was more than an hour long but you never would have known it. The pastor is very engaging and entertaining, so it makes it easy to sit for a long time like that.

Finally, our C-section date has been set. We should be meeting our baby girl on July 15th around 8 am. I have so much to do before then and so little time! I'm waiting on the delivery of a new crib so I can finish setting up the nursery, as well as bedroom furniture for our room so we can stop living our of plastic bins! Both things should be delivered just before the section date!

And that's our life for now.

Our new home!

Army kids

2010-05-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

My kids really are army kids. My son is 3 now. All the kids were playing in the house yesterday but the windows were open. He heard the 5pm bugle call (retreat) and he stopped what he was doing, stared out the window, and put his little hand over his heart. It was one of the cutest things I have ever seen. We've been working with the kids on stopping whatever they are doing if they are outside playing when this happens, but I didn't know if it was sinking in. I guess he's starting to get it.

2010-05-21T06:17:00.001-07:00

Wow! 2 blogs in one week, how does that happen? :-) My husband is visiting family this weekend while I am taking advantage of the time he is gone by preparing for our move. The movers will be here in 5 days (what??!) and I still have a lot to do. Most important on the list is probably taking pictures of all our stuff and recording serial numbers from our electronics. I also need to make a list of things that we are planning on taking with us. My plan is to have us all packed for travelling and put everything that the movers aren't taking into the kids bathroom. I'll just tape off that door and put a big sign on it so everyone knows to leave that room alone, I hope! The kids and I are working on eating what food we have in the pantry, fridge, and freezer this weekend. I'm not having the movers take food.

I have grand plans to make some kind of sign for each state we are going to pass through so we can take pictures of the kids, documenting our trip. Dave has arranged for shipment of his vehicle, my van has been to the mechanic and is ready for the long drive, I have one doctor's appointment left on this coast. It feels like there are a thousand little things that still need to be done. The weirdest part for me is that I am not actually packing things in boxes. I feel like I should have all our stuff packed away by now!

While I am not excited about living in a hotel for 5 days after our stuff is packed but before Dave can sign out, I am looking forward to having plenty of time to clean the house before the move out inspection. After going to the move out session at our community center, it doesn't look like it's going to be that bad. We have horizontal blinds that the kids have managed to destroy but they are switching to horizontal blinds and told us that as long as the blinds are still here, we won't have to pay for new ones (yea!). We have to wipe out all the cabinets and leave the drawers and doors open to make it easier for them to see that everything is cleaned out. The backyard needs to be mowed and everything in the house should get a wipe down. The trash cans have to be washed out - they do a sniff test! I'll use a carpet cleaner to make sure the carpets are as clean as possible and then we'll be done, I think.

I've found a little more info on the maternity ward at Madigan. I've been a little uneasy about the upcoming birth because my other three children were all delivered in the same hospital by the same doctors, even the same anesthesiologist! I loved that hospital - private rooms, catered food. Madigan doesn't have private rooms but the info I found seemed to say that as a C-section patient, I'll be getting first priority for a "private" room is there is one available. That just means I have to pray that they won't be really busy on the maternity floor so there will be a room that I can have to myself. If I can get my own room, I can have a support person stay overnight with me (namely my husband!). Otherwise, he'll have to go home to sleep because there will be nowhere for him to stay in a double room. I'll be in the hospital for 48-72 hours. The interesting part is going to be right after we get to Fort Lewis. I have to immediately go to the insurance office, and get our insurance switched from what we have now (which allows us to use civilian doctors) to Tricare prime. Then I have to go straight to the appointments area to get an appointment with a doctor. By the time we get to Washington I will be due for another checkup and be just weeks away from having the baby so there is no time to waste! As soon as we have a date set for the C-Section, we have to get tickets to fly my mom out so she can stay with the kids while I am in the hospital, and help out after we all come home.

Since we already have a house there, we are praying that everything will go smoothly, we'll be able to get our household goods delivered quickly, and the house set up in decent time so that we can breathe before the baby arrives. Life is about to get interesting! :-)

Are you a chicken or an eagle?

2010-05-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

As many moms can attest, life can get kind of nutsy sometimes. I don't know how I am going to handle life with 4 kids! Regardless, I can't wait to hold my baby. I miss those infant days sometimes so I am glad we got this little surprise coming. Have I mentioned yet that we found out it's a girl? I'm loving picking out all kinds of girly things for the nursery, clothes and whatnot. When we were pregnant with our first child we went gender neutral so that we could use it for future children. Since we thought we were done having kids I had gotten rid of everything so I get to start from scratch. Love it! :-) I picked a ladybug theme - in pinks and browns.

I am 31 weeks pregnant now so we are nearing the home stretch! Just to add some "excitement" to life, the movers are arriving at our house in one week, and we take off for Fort Lewis in about a week and a half. I can hardly believe we are already here! I'm a little worried about all the travelling - where will the bathrooms be? - but looking forward to seeing so much of the country that we have never seen before. We will be making a stop in South Bend to fulfill a lifelong dream of my husband - seeing Notre Dame, specifically the football field. We will also stop at Mount Rushmore. Not sure what else we will see along the way but I'm gearing up for adventure...and stocking up on DVD's to keep the kids entertained in the car.

Switching gears, I heard something on the radio the other day that added another dimension to one of my favorite verses - "you shall mount on wings like eagles." You may not know much about chickens or eagles. Eagles are my favorite animal, and have been for a long time but this was new to me. When a storm is coming, chickens tend to run around, looking for somewhere to hide. But, do you know what an eagle does when it senses a storm? It doesn't go hide. Instead, it rises above the storm. So, what do you do when you face storms in your life? Do you run and hide like a chicken, or do you rely on God, mount up on wings like an eagle, and soar above the storm? I'd like to think I soar above the storms, but I know that's not always been true. Sometimes it's just easier to hide. Just something to think about the next time you have a storm coming your way.

It's Official!!

2010-02-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

My computer isn't working right now so I rarely get to check anything on the computer but I want to take a quick minute before bed to announce we have official word - we are going to Fort Lewis! It was our second choice and I am looking forward to seeing a few people that I know in that area. I like that I already know a couple of people there so I don't feel like I am completely jumping into the deep end of the pool. The "fun" part of this move is that we will be travelling from the east coast to the west coast over a weeks time with 3 kids in tow...oh yeah, and I'll be about 32 weeks pregnant!!! If I make it to Fort Lewis with my sanity intact, it'll be a miracle! :-)

2010-01-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a long time since I have said a single thing but I've had good reason. As you know from my last post, my husband came home from deployment and we have enjoyed reintigrating him into our family life. Just weeks after his return we found out about a surprising little blessing. We're having baby number 4 - truly a welcome home present! :-) We were more than a little shocked since we thought we were done and only have a stroller left as far as maternity and baby stuff goes. God's providing already though. A friend of my mom has offered us her baby furniture.
I feel like we are in a hold pattern right now. We know that Dave has been accepted into the CPE program, offered at 4 different locations around the country. We know that regardless of which location he is assigned to, his start date is June 14. We are just waiting to hear where we will be going. The ideal assignment would be Walter Reed in Washington, DC. It would put us less than 2 hours from my parents, as well as closer to Dave's parents than we are currently. With Dave starting his CPE course (which includes working on a D-Min), the baby due in the summer, daily migraines in late pregnancy, and my having to have a C-section, it would be almost stress free to have my mom (who's a teacher and virtually free in the summer) so close to help with the three kids we already have. If we don't get Walter Reed, we know we will be where God wants us but we will have to do a little more planning and stratagizing to make everything go smoothly this summer. The part that drives me a bit crazy is that our fate has already been decided. The people who make the assignment have already decided where we will go, we think there are even people here that know where we are going, but we aren't allowed to know until we get written notification - hopefully next week! Crazy stuff but I guess it's just another lesson in patience.
That's where we stand now in our journey of faith. So far it has been an extremely rewarding, though sometimes difficult, path and we wouldn't change it!

It's finally over!

2009-11-02T10:35:00.000-08:00

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I can't say much that will add to what these pictures tell you. We finally got him back!!! :-) October 19th at 9am we went to the gym to wait for the homecoming ceremony. I thought it would be difficult knowing he was here at Fort Drum but not being able to see him. It wasn't. I think that was because we have been apart so long that just the knowledge that he was near was good enough to get us through the last couple hours. Thank you for all your prayers and support over the last year. All in all, for a first deployment experience, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'm thankful for what we have learned this year and for how we've grown but I really look forward to our time together now. Sorry the pics are a little blurry - we were trying to take them fast but I think you get the point.

You know you are a military spouse if...

2009-10-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

I came across this on someone else's blog and had to repost it. It's so true!

You might be a military spouse if...

...You live on your own, by yourself more after you're married than before you were married.

...You know all of your husband's coworkers by their last name, and rarely know their first name or even gender.

...Your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do.

...You only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change.

...You know that a 2 month separation IS short, no matter what your civilian friends say.

...You have enough camouflage in your house to wallpaper the White House.

...You don't bat an eyelash at 22:45 and 0300 duty times.

...You are asked to stop talking in acronyms and translate it all to English.

...You've done more oil changes than your spouse, and even when your husband is home the mechanic asks to speak with you.

...You ask someone to hold on a second by saying, "Stand by."

...Military homecomings on TV bring tears to your eyes because you can relate so well.

...You've ever checked your email multiple times an hour in hopes your spouse has written you, and know how horrible email being "down" is.

...You wouldn't dream going anywhere without your cellphone, and all your other numbers forward to it.

...You've researched ways to surgically attach your cellphone to yourself.

...If you have a power of attorney, USE it, and freak out when it expires.

...If you know that not everyone accepts a power of attorney, despite the fact it gives you permission to practically BE your spouse.

...If you've ever argued that fact with someone in person or over the phone and gotten nowhere.

...Your husband spends more time getting ready for a formal function than you do, and on an average day spends way too much time ironing, polishing shoes, and shaping his beret.

...You can literally hold down the fort while your spouse is deployed or in the field.

...You know that 'dependant' means anything but.

…the floorboard of your car is littered with french fries, yellow foam earplugs and chem lights.

…you lean to the right while driving on post so the MP’s won’t see you talking on your cell phone.

…you’ve ever wished your husband would get the Medal of Honor so you could get front row parking.

…you know better than to shop the Commissary on the first or fifteenth day of the month.

…you have a “favorite gate guard.”

…you don’t feed your kids before FRG meetings but plan to let them fill up on brownies and Sprite once they get there.

…you watch “Army Wives” just to yell at the TV whenever something is unrealistic.

…you’ve ever stopped your husband on the way to work because of pair of your panties was stuck to his velcro.

…you plan a special day because of the words “Case Lot Sale.”

…you’ve ever had a nightmare that involved not knowing ”your sponsor’s last four.”

…you know all the words to “Blood on the Risers” but still cringe when you hear it.

…you save an especially stinky shirt to get you through a deployment

…you think the only thing sexier than ACU’s on a man are ACU’s off a man.

…your sentences start containing more [acronyms] and numbers than actual words.

…you refer to everyone not in the military or dating someone in the military as a Civilian, you can rattle off the time in perfect military time without having to think.

…you start referring to all girls & women as “females”

…you tell the timeline of your past through deployments.

…you think 6 months away from your husband is “not bad”

…you can’t remember the last four digits of your own social security #

…you constantly have to explain to businesses on the phone that your husband can’t call to fix the problem because he’s in the middle of a desert somewhere.

2009-10-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? Can it really be a month since my last blog? We are keeping busy.

My 7 year old did, in fact, break her wrist when she fell as reported in my last update. Even the doctor was surprised when the X-ray came back showing a buckle fracture. She got a purple cast. I bought a silver marker for her to let all her friends use when they signed her cast. What a way to start the school year! At least it wasn't her writing hand. She will get it off this week.

The girls both started ballet. Initially I signed just the 7 year old up but my 4 year old stood on the sidelines and copied everything they did so the teacher said we should give her a sort of try out the next week. The 4 year old got into the class, but the 7 year old got booted up to ballet II! Just after 2 weeks she was ready. Now, we have ballet on Monday and Wednesday every week.

This week will be busy. I'm having 3 wisdom teeth removed on Monday, the girls have ballet Monday and Wednesday and a birthday party on Tuesday. Thursday the 7 year old gets her cast off. It's gonna be crazy. Thank God my sister and my dad are able to come up and stay with me during this time, so I can heal without the stress of taking care of 3 kids.

If you haven't read my husbands blog than you don't know our latest good news. He was selected to attend a CPE (clinical pastoral education) course that he has wanted since he joined the army. I'll brag a little on him because, well, because I can! :-) Each year they select 14 chaplains who are captains to attend the course (they also select some majors). They look at all the captain ranked chaplains and make a list then contact them to see if they are interested, working their way down the list. My husband was first on their list! So proud of him and so happy that he is getting what he wanted. Now we wait until Feb/Mar to find out which of the 4 places they are going to send him. We could go to Walter Reed in DC (this would be our first choice), Fort Gordon, GA, Fort Lewis, WA, and Fort Sam Houston, TX. Then we will move in the summer, he will take the course, then there is a 3 year follow up that he will do in a hospital situation. I am praying he ends up somewhere that doesn't deploy but I know there is always the chance that he could still end up deployed again - though it's probably smaller than if he just went to another battalion. Okay, I am done bragging! :-)

In a past post I talked about the huge hole that was left in my chest when my husband deployed. I talked about how we were trying to live our lives, skating around that emptiness, trying to avoid falling in, but now and then something would happen that would snag on the edge of the hole, pull it farther open, and drag us in. Well, I am happy to report that the hole is all but gone now. His homecoming is so close that the hole is but a mere nuisance now. Sure, there are still moments I wish he could be here to see something, to hear something the kids say, to share in our daily lives, but I know he'll be here soon. The time left is so small, compared to what we have been through (11 months!) that it's hardly worth considering. I don't spend every waking moment wondering if something is going to happen to tear at my fragile resolve to stay strong. I don't walk so carefully through my day, hoping to avoid anything that might remind me of all that is missing. I don't dread each new dawn, wondering what milestone the kids will hit that he will miss, wondering which child will say something that would send their daddy into a fit of laughter, if only he were there to hear it. Instead I welcome the new day, anticipating what I can accomplish in it in preparation for that joyous homecoming. My struggle used to be with wishing the day away so that I could escape to peaceful sleep and forget about the emptiness for a little while. My struggle is still with wishing away the day, but now it's because there are so few days left until we are reunited, until we are the family we are supposed to be! I'm trying hard to remember that each new day is a blessing from God and brings with it special moments that can easily be missed if I am too busy wishing it away. Those moments when my 7 year old reads our bedtime story. Those moments when my 4 year old climbs into my lap and says simply "I want to cuddle with my momma!" Those moments when my 2 year old son proves that God made him uniquely different from my girls when he finds trouble at every turn - dumping an entire thing of fish food in the 30 gallon fish tank, and while I am cleaning that up in the kitchen, covers everything in the bathroom with baby powder. Okay, well, those moments I still wish away!! :-) But then he melts my heart when he looks at me with his big blue eyes and asks "Mommy, are you mad at me?" How can I be? He's just being a boy - curious, adventurous, exploratory, inquisitive, unhampered by the fear of what might happen, undaunted by failure, unconcerned with the consequences. I find it hard to squelch that spirit but I do look forward to his daddy's return so that he can help channel that in ways I'll never be able to. It's just a guy thing! :-)

So, with just the tiniest of holes left in my chest, I am happy to say that my honey will be home soon, very soon! Operational Security prevents me from giving exact dates, but suffice it to say, there are no important dates, holidays or birthdays, in the foreseeable future that he will have to miss! :-) That makes me very happy. And that is why the hole is almost gone. There is no room for a gaping, sad hole with this much happy, excited anticipation.

Keeping Busy

2009-09-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say. No earth shattering news, no breath taking revelations. Just life, but it's been a busy life lately. I had to register the kids with CYS so we can use hourly care and enroll the younger two in preschool on post. That meant a trip to Clark Hall - always a nightmare just waiting to happen. I got all the paperwork filled out, including the physical forms from the doctor, checked the hours for registration, loaded the 3 kids into the car and made our way to the second floor of Clark Hall. Alas, one of their clerks had quit and the other one was not covering all the hours they said they were taking registrations so I had to leave without getting anything accomplished - aside from adding fuel to my fire of frustration. The next day we tried again. Success! I got the kids registered - with only minor trouble caused by said kids - and on wait lists for preschool, prekindergarten, and gymnastics. Then we went to my 7 year olds school because I had to drop off physical and dental forms so she can attend school next week. While there I found out they have a free pre-k so I put my 4 year old on that wait list. This meant I needed to make a trip BACK to Clark Hall to take her off the list there (why pay for school when she can get it for free?). I did put her on the wait list for preschool though - whichever opens first is where she will go. Then we had to go BACK to the school because my 2 year old is apparently a kleptomaniac and had walked off with one of the books from the office. Ack! By that time we had wasted what felt like hours going back and forth between places, all the while loading and unloading 3 kids and trying to keep them all in hand - go ahead, borrow some kids and try it - I promise you, you will not have enough hands to make it work smoothly! Anyway, we headed to the mall to pick up a couple of things, get some lunch, and start a new back to school tradition - we went to the movies. Yep, me, 3 kids, popcorn, gummies, and a drink. What fun! :-)

Kid Anecdotes:

2 year old: I was working with him on counting. He always counts like this: "1,2,3,6,1,2,3,6" So, I was trying to teach him 4 and 5. We counted to 3 then I said "What comes after 3?" His response? "Spankin'" I was practically rolling on the floor laughing. All I can say is, at least they know and no one can say they don't have fair warning when a spanking is coming.

Two days ago he brought me a bag full of self rising flour and announced that he wanted it "in a bowl to eat." This was said while he had a slice of pizza sitting on the table waiting to be consummed. Why the bag of flour was more appealing to him is beyond me.

A couple of nights ago he woke up crying. I was cuddling him on the floor when he saw my cross necklace. This was the conversation that followed:
Him: "What's this?"

Me: "My necklace."

Him: "What's it say?"

Me: "Nothing."

Him: "What's a chaplain say?"

Me: "What's a chaplain say!?!"

Him: "Let's talk!"

Maybe he has a better grasp on Daddy's job then we thought.

4 year old: We were talking about silly things and I asked her what she wanted Santa to bring her this year for Christmas. Her response:"Whatever he wants to bring me is fine....as long as it's girly, you know." Wonder if she really will be that easy to please come Christmas time. Probably not.

7 year old: She was rollerblading and fell on her wrist. She was with the babysitter though I wish I could have been there to hear her comment. She told the babysitter she thought she had "twisted her bone." :-) This was last night and while she isnt' swollen, she is still sore.

Let's see. Other than that, we have been working on potty training. I'm really tired of cleaning up from the accidents though. Someone remind me they don't go to college still in diapers! :-) My younger two have discovered the joys of riding bikes with training wheels though I am sure I am an amusing sight - walking down the road with my hands on two little bodies trying to figure out how to make bikes work!

We had some fun when we had to figure out why, all of the sudden, our phone, internet and cable all went out. Okay, I'm all for turning off technology - sometimes. But sometimes, especially when it's just me with the 3 kids, you just need one of those lifelines. Yeah, I'm glad I still had my cell phone at least. Turns out, the people contracted to mow the grass around post ran over and cut our cable line. Apparently it wasn't buried very deep. Anyway, after an emergency call from Time Warner, our line was replaced and we are back online! :-)

Finally my little girl is turning into a big girl. She moved into her own room - a necessity with school starting soon. She was having a hard time getting to sleep last year, with 2 siblings in the room with her who wanted to stay up and talk. So, this year we decided she needed her own space. I let her pick out a new comforter for her bed. Gone are the pastel flowers of the last 4 years. She picked a black comforter with a strip of hot pink flowers, swirls, and circles. I bought her a mirror so she can see herself when she gets dressed. It has a hot pink frame. I also got 5 art canvas and painted them. That was fun. First I brushed them with black paint then topped it with pink or purple flowers with white centers. Then I used a dry fan brush to pull the white into the petals. It turned out really cool, if you ask me. I bought her a CD player/alarm clock and a Hannah Montana CD and a Jonas Brothers CD. I still need to get her some curtains but then her room transformation will be complete. She's very proud of having her own space. She keeps it clean, makes her bed every morning and even dresses herself before coming downstairs in the mornings. I'm very proud of her, but when did she get to be such a big girl??

In other news: 7 weeks and counting. Dave will be home soon!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Highlights from the last few days

2009-08-20T15:16:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite pictures of daddy and son from R and R!

Well, it's over. R and R that is. Yesterday we took Dave back to the airport and sent him off to finish his year tour in Iraq.

It was not a fun experience! But that's an understatement, and probably completely unneccessary to say. I have to say, in light of a recent blog post, the whole of R and R was not as bittersweet as I imagined. I didn't often find myself thinking about how soon we would have to say goodbye. I was able to live in and enjoy the moment. At the airport, we were able to go to the gate with Dave but with a couple of hours until his flight, I couldn't "enjoy the moment" anymore. It was all too real that we were going to be saying goodbye again. So, Dave gave the kids little gifts,

we hugged and kissed, a nice gentleman took a family picture for us,

and with tears streaming down my face we walked away.

To top off an already awful day, the neighborhood kids were all enjoying some playtime in our garage when one of them yelled something about a snake. Turns out, not one but two (!) eastern ribbon snakes had taken up residence in our garage. Ack! I was not a happy person yesterday, even after a couple of the girls had bravely slid the snakes onto shovels and removed them from the garage.

This morning I got the girls to VBS then my son and I went for some retail therapy (better known as school shopping) but we ran out of time. So, after picking the girls up, we hit the PX for lunch then went back to Watertown for more shopping. I think we have everything we need for fall now! :-) Gotta love 10 and 15% coupons on top of sales!! :-)

Since we dropped Dave off yesterday I have wondered how many times a heart can be ripped out of a chest and sent thousands of miles away yet remain alright. It was a strange feeling last night - I felt completely empty yet my heart felt like it was swelling with emotion and trying to bust right out of my chest and fly to Iraq. I still feel that empty kind of feeling today but it's starting to numb, like it has been the past 9 months. It's a little easier to settle back into our routine since it was something we'd already spent most of a year doing.

And then God did what He did when Dave left the first time. I was driving home from our day of shopping, thinking about how awful it is to have to keep saying goodbye to Dave and wondering if it was all worth it, when some words in a song on the radio caught my attention. When Dave left last November, God used a song to remind me that He would be my fortress, my stronghold through these tough times. Today I was reminded that I can let this time bring glory to God. Just maybe, with this thought in mind, I can dance in the rain. Here are the lyrics that caught my attention, and you can watch a video by clicking on the "bring the rain" link below them.

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

Bring the rain

Life is Crazy!

2009-08-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since my last post. And life has been crazy in that last month! We finished visiting family, having travelled from New York to New Jersey to Virginia back to New Jersey and finally home again in New York. Yes, I was about fit for a straight jacket and padded room after spending all those hours driving with 3 kids. We made it one piece and are happy to be home - not just because it's home. When we got home, we immediately set to unpacking and getting ready for a week long visit from my college roommate and her 3 kids.

I couldn't wait. It had been 7 years since we had last seen each other and at that time she had just had her first baby so a lot had changed inm our lives. 5 days, 2 moms, 6 kids - we should have had a camera crew following us. A simple trip to the mall was a comedic adventure. I hated to see the week end. We had so much fun together and the kids loved the big slumber parties they got to have every night. Sad as we were to say goodbye to our friends, we were also excited because Daddy would be coming home on his 2 week R and R very soon. They left Friday and on Monday we went to the airport to meet Daddy. Of course, that in itself was an adventure. I left with plenty of time to get to Syracuse but we had to make a stop for diapers, then I had to find my way into the airport, find the right airline counter, make a bathroom stop, get a sort of boarding pass that would let us through to the gates where we were to meet Dave, get the kids to the security check - and while we were waiting in line there, we saw him walking toward us! It was great to see him again. It was like he hadn't been gone for 9 months. The kids ran and hugged and kissed him.

We took a couple pictures though not enough, looking back. We left the airport, went to Olive Garden for lunch and just enjoyed having Daddy with us again. We've really been enjoying our time together, short as it is. We've taken a trip to the park

, gone out for a daddy dinner (with Daddy this time!) at Red Lobster, visited Boldt Castle

, gone to the spray park. We got a babysitter and went to dinner and a movie last week (and we are doing it again tonight). Dave's parents, sister and niece came to visit, went to Boldt Castle with us, and watched the kids while we stayed in A Bay at the Riveredge Resort for a night. We are going to be sad to say goodbye but the time he will be gone is going to be so short - compared to how long he was gone before. We will make it. So here we are, just trying to enjoy every moment of this crazy life God has given us and knowing we wouldn't trade a minute of it. God is good!

2009-07-14T10:26:00.001-07:00

Just a few pictures of some of our summer exploits so far:

It's been a while. I've been trying to stay busy this summer. My mother has informed me that I have not updated my blog in a while. I guess that was her oh-so-not-subtle hint to write something. Don't know what she wants me to write since I have been staying with her for the last week! (Just teasing you, Mom).

In truth, we have been doing a lot of travelling since my oldest finished 1st grade. I had no desire to spend 24/7 with all 3 kids by myself! It all started with my parents coming to visit the last weekend of June. We spent some great time at the Fort Drum air show. It was really awesome and my 2 year old boy was entralled with the planes. Then, we packed up and headed to NJ to visit for a week with my in laws. The kids loved having someone besides me to play with. We visited the spray park and playground. I took each of the girls out for special mommy time which consisted of lunches at Johnny Rockets, walks around the mall, and rides on a cool double decker carousel. I got a girls night out with my sister in law where we enjoyed a quick dinner and then went to the movies. Then we continued our trip south, to VA. We got stuck in traffic at one point - taking 50 minutes to go a mere 5 miles! However, all 3 kids love the High School Musical movies to there were contentedly watching those while we sat in traffic, therefore saving my sanity! Since arriving in VA, we have hung out at ChickFilA, enjoying the free WiFi, played on a cool playground set up in my parents backyard, took a trip to Baltimore's National Aquarium and took in a dolphin show, worked on teaching the girls to swim, picked up my mom's "new" convertible, and watched their cat have kittens - Ribbons, Lacey, Tiger, Spirit, and Tootsie. Not to mention meeting the newest addition to our family, my sister's baby boy, Samuel. He's just 11 weeks old and there's hardly a time when I am not holding him, if he's within reach. :-)

We'll head back to NJ next Monday, staying there for a few more days before heading home to prepare for my husband's R and R! That's the best part of the summer....knowing we'll get to see him, if only for a couple of weeks.

shift in my universe

2009-06-21T16:53:00.000-07:00

There have been so many thoughts bouncing around in my head today that it is hard to nail down one. Just when I start to try to flesh one out, I hit a bunny trail and bound down a new path. I fully expect the same thing to happen here so I apologize! It might give you a sense of where my head is, should you care.

It's Father's Day. And it was the hardest day of the deployment so far, save the day Dave actually left. I didn't see that coming. Perhaps that made it even harder. It was harder than Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, the girls birthdays, even our 10th anniversary. Looking at all the significant days that passed already, I had no idea that today would be difficult. But it was. I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe it was because this was the first day that should have truly been all about my husband. And he wasn't here to celebrate with. When they acknowledged dad's at church this morning, they had all the dads stand up. Then they asked family members of deployed dad's to stand. There I stood with my 4 year old on my hip and my 7 year old leaning in close at my waist, surrounded by other women standing in place of absent fathers. Fathers who are willing to be away from their families so that other families (most of whom will not even think of the sacrifice of so many today) can enjoy BBQ's or dinners out with their fathers - in peace, in safety. I would have made special donuts for my husband this morning but I didn't because he wasn't here. We should have gone out to lunch, maybe even getting dessert, but we didn't. The house should have been filled with sounds of one ball game or another on the TV but it wasn't. The kids should have been presenting their daddy with cards and pictures they had made specially for him, but instead they sit in a box, waiting to be mailed to him. On a day to honor fathers, I was alone with my kids, and my kids just had Mommy around. (On a little bunny trail, I did get to have dinner with my own father last night as he was passing through from Virginia to a place a little north of here for a missions trip. That was a treat.) So, today was hard but there was more than one moment where tears pricked the backs of my eyes. (This crying thing is going to get old fast. Maybe not being able to cry wasn't such a bad thing after all.)

Moments. There are moments in the journey of life when your universe shifts. Most of the time it can be anticipated. A first kiss, your wedding day, the birth of a child, the first time you stike out on your own and realize that you are in charge of the direction your life will go, the moment you accept Jesus as your Saviour. These are good moments and exciting shifts. Today my universe shifted. It was much more subtle and not at all exciting. I have been eagerly anticipating my husbands coming leave. Those couple of weeks in the midst of deployment when we get to steal some time together. I've felt nothing but excitement as that time comes closer and closer. Today I saw another side to that time. It's going to be such a short time and then we have to say good bye again. Am I going to be able to enjoy the moments we have together without having each one tainted by the impending goodbye? I'm not very good at that. I had a lot of practice before he deployed in the first place but it didn't do me a lot of good. I'm not looking forward to having my life turned upside down again. And with that thought came the pricks of tears again, that obnoxious welling in my eyes, the slightly blurry vision. I fought hard to put on a mask for my kids. To smooth my face and bring the corners of my mouth up from a hard frown. There was no hiding my feelings though. I could hear it in my voice as I talked to the kids. Not my normal voice, but a rough voice, catching on the dread balled up in my throat.

And there it was.

The moment my universe shifted ever so slightly.

The moment I realized that seeing my husband get off that plane, giving him that first hug and kiss after so, so many months apart just means I'm going to have to say goodbye again too soon. Sure, the goodbye will be for a much shorter time period but it's still goodbye. It's still sending him off with my heart, leaving me empty. It's still ripping at the very threads of our family, stretching them to their limits.

And so today was hard. I miss the most important father in my life. My universe shifted microscopically from a happy, eager looking forward to Dave's return to a bittersweet, though equally anticipated, anxiousness - eager for his return, yet dreading the knowledge that it just means another goodbye. So, that is the truth of my reality at this moment. I can't wait for him to come home on leave, but I dread having to send him off to finish his tour.

10 years ago today...

2009-06-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

"Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but is supported by the all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful." - Biship Jeremy Taylor

Ten years ago today, on a warm Saturday afternoon, I stood at the back of the church where my parents had said their wedding vows 24 years before, waiting for my turn. At the end of the aisle stood the man who held my heart, who I loved more than myself and who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. While my dad held me back, waiting for just the right moment in the music to start down the aisle, my eyes were on my man. This was the moment I had been waiting for for the last 11 months. I no longer cared if the wedding went perfectly, I didn't care about the details of each moment. All I wanted was to have his ring on my finger, his promise in my heart, and that all important marriage license signed.

That day I made this vow to Dave and I stand by it now, 10 years later:

"With deepest joy, I receive you into my life, that together we may be one. I receive you with your strengths and weaknesses. I will be loyal to you in health and sickness. I will share who I am and what I have with you always. I promise to you my deepest love, my unselfish devotion, and my most tender care. I willingly yield to your authority as my husband and protector and will seek to challenge you in developing your personal relationship with our Lord."

His vow to me was:

With deepest joy, I receive you into my life, that together we may be one. I receive you with your strengths and weaknesses. I will be loyal to you in health and sickness. I promise to you my deepest love, my unselfish devotion, and my most tender care as long as we both shall live. I willingly accept my responsibility as your spiritual convering and promise to direct our family into a life of faith in our Lord."

How could I have known then what life would hold for us? At the age of 20, with stars in my eyes, I never envisioned spending my 10th anniversary thousands of miles away from the one I love. I pictured a life as a pastor's wife, kids running around, a house full of laughter, toys, and the smells of cookies baking. But who can predict the future? And would it have changed the joy I felt that day if I had known where I would be sitting today? I don't think so. Sure, I wasn't ready to be an army wife then, and Dave wasn't ready to be a chaplain. We both had a lot of growing to do and he still had a lot of school in front of him. But our marriage is better now because of Dave's decision to join the army. I wouldn't change a thing that has happened. I wouldn't go back to those naive moments at the front of the church with visions of a perfect life dancing in my head. Nope, I think life, and marriage, are better with it's flaws and challenges. How else can you learn to love a person more fully? How else can you feel free to be the person you are and have room to grow? Yep, the difficulties of the last 10 years have only made the joy of our marriage that much better.

In ten years we have moved 10 times! We have had 3 wonderful children. We have lived in 4 different states. Dave has been a student, a youth pastor, an associate pastor, a church starter

and now an army chaplain. I worked while he was in grad school, then became a stay at home mom. He's now deployed and I am keeping the home fires burning. His last promise in his vow to me was to direct our family into a life of faith in our Lord. I can't think of a better example for him to set for our children then to be doing what he is doing right now - following the will of God even when it's not easy, even when it hurts, even when it's dangerous.

Dave, I love you more today than I ever imagined possible 10 years ago. When I see the man you are today, I am humbled and blessed to call you my husband. I admire your determination to lead our family in whatever direction God takes us. You ground me when I feel out of control and you hold the kite string when I feel like flying. You are the steady in this life when I can't control change and it scares me. You set an amazing example for our children of what a man who loves his Saviour and isn't ashamed of it should be. Thank you for sharing the last 10 years with me, for holding me, for loving me, for comforting me, for sharing with me, for taking care of me! I can't wait for the next 10, 20, 30 years! In the words I used the first time I told you: I absolutely, positively, most definitely, without a doubt love you!

2009-06-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. It's sort of a good thing - it means I've been busy and busy is good in a deployment. Since the last post my oldest child turned 7.

I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. She had a tea party and I made a teapot cake for her.

She got to talk on the phone to her daddy while she opened the present we gave her - a Nintendo DS.

The girls started soccer. That's been fun to watch. My oldest loves it but my youngest would prefer to sit and smell the flowers.
I haven't really had anything to say recently. It all kind of feels like I'm saying the same thing. But, since the question has been posed in my comments section I will answer it. We are now 7 months into the deployment. It's gone better than I could have ever hoped. I have no idea how people who don't know Jesus get through deployments because I don't see how I could do it otherwise. Well, maybe I can see it a little - but I would be so depressed I'm not sure I would make it. I still get to talk to my hubby nearly every day and I treasure that short time. Not every spouse of a deployed soldier is so lucky. I'm glad my husband makes it a priority to get in touch with me daily, even if it's just a little email to tell me he's alright and he loves me. Even though this is our first deployment and we went into it sort of blind, not knowing what to expect or how to navigate it, I wouldn't change a thing that we have done. Should we have to endure another deployment, I would probably do all the same things. The kids love watching the m and m jar get lower and lower and their excitement over the kiss jar being more than half empty is contagious. I've put pictures of the jars, taken at the start of every month, on the cabinets above them so they can see how far we have come. I added something for me. I hired a babysitter to come once a week to give me a night off. I go out to dinner, the movies, hang out with girlfriends, whatever. The babysitter takes care of feeding my kids dinner, entertaining them for the evening and putting them to bed that one night a week. It's been wonderful (and probably helped me stay sane too).
As far as specific prayer requests go: Well, school will be getting out soon and then we have long summer days to fill. I anticipate that to be a little difficult. I've already heard a comment or two about wishing Daddy were here. I have planned to visit family in July which will give them something to look forward to as well as change up our routine enough to keep them distracted. Then R and R will be upon us. We would love your prayers for that time to be filled with blessings and love and everything good that we can squeeze in.

The bird

2009-05-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

My husband told me I had to blog about this:

So, in the interest of procrastinating (my house really does need some TLC) here's the story. For the last few days I kept finding dried pieces of grass - more like hay or straw - around the front door. Of course, that meant they were also dragged into the house by wild children. I couldn't figure out where these pieces were coming from. It was driving me crazy. Then, I went to leave the house one day and there was a crazy flurry of wings by the door as a bird took off in sudden flight. I looked up and found the answer to the question of where the straw was coming from. Apparently this bird thought our front light was a good place to build a nest. This should be interesting. I'm going to have to find a different way in the house for my sister in law who has a strong aversion to all things bird. But, really, who would have thought to look UP to find where grass was coming from???

I wonder when?

2009-05-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

I wonder when, I wonder when?
I wonder when life got in the way of living?
I wonder when I got so overwhelmed being a mother that I forgot to be a mom?
I wonder when I got caught up taking care of the house that I lost sight of the home?
I wonder when, I wonder when?

Oh, yeah, when I became a single mom in all the practical, hands on, day to day ways - when this year long deployment descended on us. So, now as we hit the halfway mark (Yippee!!!!) I am having to remind myself that I still have to live, I still have to (get to) be a mom, and having a clean house is important but making that house a home is infinitely more important.

Musings

2009-04-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

I'm in Virginia, hoping that my sister will give birth to her first baby, a son, before I have to head back to New York. We shall see. He's being stubborn. So like his mother :-).
You know, some days everything seems okay, but other days it all seems like more than I can take. I have this hole inside me. I've been going about life as if it's a nice little circle that I can just skate around the edges of and if I go fast enough, stay busy enough, then I can avoid it. Turns out, it's not so neat. It's got all these ragged edges that get caught on things and pull the hole bigger. Here I am, skating around my hole of emptiness when I notice my son playing with his basketball and find myself wishing Dave were here to play with him. Oops, that thought just snagged on a ragged edge of my hole and pulled it a little bigger. Then I watch my kids playing and see my son pull out a stick and use it as a light saber making sound effects that are obviously built into a boy 'cause I never showed him that and it makes me think of Dave. Yep, that ragged edge got pulled again. It could happen at any time, a moment in a movie that makes me think of him, a funny thought flitting through my head that I wish I could share. It builds, the hole gets pulled bigger and bigger while I try to skate farther and farther away from the edges. And then there is that moment when it feels like I am going to burst wide open because there just isn't room for that hole inside me anymore. That's when I say to God "I feel like I am splitting at the seams. Wrap me in your everlasting arms and hold me together." More often than not there is an immediate easing of the pain and hurt. Every now and then it's not so immediate but I have learned enough to know that it's coming and that is enough to keep me going.
A couple weeks ago I was reading a book (called Captivating) and it was talking about Jesus being the Lover of your soul. I'd heard him described as that lots of times but never thought of it much farther than He loves me and He died for me. There's more to the concept of lover though. It's someone who is constantly romancing you, trying to show you in little ways that they love you. And Jesus is perfect so it follows to think that His romancing of you would be perfect too. But do you see it? I know in human relationships it's easy to slip into a rut and not see those little things. In the book the woman mentions that her husband had gone on a walk on a beach to have some alone time with God. While there, he observed a bunch of whales and felt like God was right there with him, showing him He loved him and heard his prayers. Of course this husband went back and told him wife about the experience and she wanted the same experience. She went for a walk later on the same beach, all the while hoping and praying that she would get the same show of love from God. You can probably guess that didn't happen. But what did happen took my by surprise. After she had given up that God would show her something just for her, she looked down and saw a single, perfect starfish. She marveled at that a while and then turned a corner and the beach was covered in these starfish. She felt God romancing her in that moment. She didn't need whales - that was for her husband - and God gave her something, just for her. So, that got me thinking. How is God romancing me? What am I missing that God is using to try to show just how much He loves me as an individual? For the first couple days I tried to stay aware and look for things, but I eventually forgot about it, settling into my old routine. Then I woke up one day in the first week of April to snow on the ground. Enough snow that I was going to have to shovel. I got everyone ready for the trip to the bus stop, dragging out the packed away snow gear, and shrugging on my heavy, black winter coat. I griped to myself the whole way to the bus stop, with snow gathering onto my coat. I remember thinking "God, it's April already! I'm ready for spring!" Then, on the way home, I looked down at the snow falling on my coat and I saw it. This was how God was romancing me and I was missing it. I remember being awed by the perfect snowflakes earlier in the winter - how I could see perfectly each tip and the intricate designs on each individual tiny snowflake. I remember thinking how awesome it was that God would take such care in something so little and make each one different. Surely if He cares that much for something that only lasts a second, He cares so much more for me! So, yes, I am done with snow for the season (please, God!) but I will always be thankful for that last snowfall and the reminder that God is the Lover of my soul and He cares for me as an individual.

2009-04-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling over what I want to write here for days now. I think of a hundred different things - while I am driving around running errands, or about to fall asleep but when I sit down to write, I can't think of anything. At least, nothing that makes sense.
In happy news, we have passed the 5 month mark. So, we are technically in the 6th month of a yearlong deployment. It feels good to know we are slowly inching toward reuniting our family.
As I think about that fact, I am reminded of the devotional we heard at a UMT (Unit Ministry Team) Coffee this morning. It can be found at Proverbs 31 Ministries:Daily Devotions but I have copied it here too:

"My amazing husband can do anything. He's a fix-it man. There isn't anything he can't repair or create. He rebuilds damaged computers for family and friends, repairs weed eaters and garage door openers for neighbors, and rescues broken furniture from trash heaps. Recently he brought a chair home from a dinner party. It wasn't a gift and we didn't steal it. Someone sat in it and broke it!

After two days of taking the chair apart - performing what looked like orthopedic surgery to me, you know when pins and screws are inserted to keep bones and joints from further damage – followed by a little gluing, sanding, and staining, the chair looked brand new.

"Wow!" I said, impressed.

"Sit in it and rock back," he encouraged.

"Rock back? I don't think so! What if I break it?"

"Oh, believe me. You won't."

"How do you know?" I asked, not convinced.

"I know how I designed it. I know the pressure points and how much stress it can take" he responded with a smile of confidence. "Go on. Sit in it and rock back."

I sat down and rocked back.

The chair was solid. I don't care who sits in it, or how they land in it now, it will not break.

I think about the times we don't believe we can handle any more stress. The pressure seems overwhelming and we cry, "Time out! I can't take any more!"

God responds, "Trust me. You will not be destroyed. I know your pressure points. I know how much stress you can take. I know how I designed you."

I cannot describe the peace I felt when I related the work of my husband's hands to the work of God's hand.

Of course He knows how much I can take. After all He is my Creator, the one who bent down by the river and fashioned me with His hands. He's the one who knit me together in the depths of my mother's womb, the one who is called the Potter.

He knows the exact temperature needed in the kiln to create the perfect clay vessel. He knows how hot the fire must be to separate the dross from the silver and gold. He knows how much pressure a diamond or emerald must withstand in order for it to come forth solid and brilliant. He knows how long the irritant must sit in an oyster before it becomes a pearl.

My Father knows exactly how much I can take. He knows because He designed me. With that realization I am able to trust Him and smile at the future, no matter how hard life is today."

It was so fitting for me to hear this today. My God is my Creator! He knows exactly how much I can handle. Now, it's for me to trust Him when I feel like things are getting to be too much. Instead of saying "God, I can't handle anymore! It's too much - the deployment, the kids, the house, the cars, the snow, the commitments and responsibilities on my plate - I just can't do it! I'm at my breaking point," I need to be quiet and listen as He says "My child, I MADE you. I know EXACTLY how much you can handle. You will not break. You will withstand the pressure. Fulfill your potential and glorify Me!" I don't know about anyone else but that realization made me feel really light. Suddenly all the pressure on me seemed much lighter, like just knowing God is only giving me what HE, my Creator, knows I can handle eased the burden. Who am I to question God?
This also tied into something I keep coming back to in my frequent musings in my head. I often feel overwhelmed by my life now. It seems like there is no escape. It was one of those moments when a song came on the radio and one line struck me. Jesus has overwhelmed the grave. It was the word overwhelmed that struck me first. Then I got to thinking about it. The grave, death, is the end all to our physical life, right? And Jesus overwhelmed that. It could not hold Him. Surely, then, with His help I can muddle through the ups and downs of daily life that seem to overwhelm me. I think I have the greatest advantage on my side. With Him I can flip the tables and overwhelm all those things that have felt like they are pulling me down.
And, so, with the peace of knowing my God, my Creator, knows all that I can handle, and the sense of victory I already feel knowing, with Jesus by my side, I will be able to keep my head above the water during the rest of this deployment, I go on to face another day.

I'm back!!

2009-03-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Wow, I feel like I have been out of touch with the world. My internet went on the fritz last week and no amount of trouble shooting on my end would work. We ususally use a wireless router but even running a hardline straight from the modem to the computer didn't work. So, the cable company came out yesterday and got me back up and running. I felt a little vindicated when the "expert" had trouble too. So, here I am, back in cyber world. It was amazing what life was like without internet access for a week. I admit to getting totally sucked into the world of vampires and werewolves when I read the more than 2200 pages that make up the 4 books in the popular Twilight series. I started reading the first one last Tuesday at 10pm and finished the 4th book by 3pm on Saturday. I watched the movie Saturday night but was disappointed. Probably because I had read the books so recently and still had my vision of what happened running through my head. I've tried watching it again and with just a little distance between reading the books and watching the movie, it helped. Perhaps it's not a great idea to read a book and watch the movie based on said book in days of each other.

Let's see, what else has happened. My middle child turned 4 yesterday. I took cupcakes to her school. They were made to look almost like a cake with Barbie Fairytopia as the theme. It was very pink. When she got home for preschool, I had filled the living room with around 40 balloons, all tied to clips so they were floating at about her eye level. She thought that was great. So did her two year old brother who promptly got all tangled in the strings. I had a babysitter come to watch my other two kids and I took the birthday girl out. That's all she wanted for her birthday. Not a party - just time with mommy. We went to Target and I let her pick out one toy. She had a blast going up and down the aisles looking at the offerings. Then we went to Ruby Tuesdays (her choice) for dinner. I have never seen her eat so much - ever! She got chips and dip as an appetizer followed by pasta marinara, more chips, and finally a chocolate chip cookie and two scoops of ice cream. It was the most pleasant meal I have had with one of my kids in a long time. She was obviously happy to have my undivided attention. When we were done stuffing ourselves, we went to the mall so she could get her nails painted. I think she felt very special then. She picked a deep pink with a glitter topcoat. She's quite proud of them now. That's how we spent 3 hours. She got other presents yesterday too. Her daddy sent her some chocolates and candy and a teddy bear. I think that made her happy. So, my little girl is growing up.
Last night I was exhausted. Did I mention I haven't slept well the last couple nights 'cause one kid or another keeps getting up? Well, last night was no exception. Well, at least no exception to not getting good sleep. I'd rather have them come in and just need to be tucked back in. No such luck last night. My 2 year old started with his night terrors around 11pm. Then he started bouncing back and forth between the floor in my room and his bed. His restlessness should have clued me in but I thought he was just suffering from being overtired (he hadn't had a nap yesterday). Around 1:30 he jumped up off the floor suddenly and I knew something was wrong but before I could react, he projectile vomited all over my floor. Yuck! He then started a second volley which got all over me and him. It was like deja vu. It was the middle of the night and I was giving baths, scrubbing carpets, and doing laundry. I kept him on the floor after that. He slept fitfully for about 2 hours, during which I didn't get much sleep since I kept listening for him, and then he threw up again. After that, he slept again until morning but not peacefully. I didn't get much more than an hour or two of sleep the whole night, just waiting for him to need me again.
Today I had to take the girls to the doctor for sports physicals so I asked the doctor about this. She said it could be something like cyclical vomiting but we had to rule out other things first. So she suggested I track it, noting what he had eaten and the circumstances of the day to see if we could pinpoint any constants. So far I haven't been able to come up with any, apart from the fact that there are no other symptoms and it always starts around 1:30 -2 am and then he is fine by daytime.
And so, that is what's been going on here while I have been without internet access.

2009-03-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

I love playing with my son. The weather has been so nice the last two days (well, sun and 40's). We've grabbed his mini basketball and gone up to the court behind our house. He throws it up in the air as high as he can and totally misses but smiles and laughs like he is having the best time in the world. I have to give him credit. He's only 2 but he gets the ball at least 6 feet off the ground every time. That's something, isn't it? When he gets tired of that, we run back and forth playing "catch mommy." The girls dig for shiny rocks in the gravel where the playground used to be. When we all tire of these activities, we have taken walks on a path near our house. Yesterday I managed to get them to walk 2 whole miles and they crashed at bedtime, sleeping through the night. Today we didn't get even half that far, but then we had to be sure to stay close to home so we could leave for Awana on time.
He stayed with me during church this week. He had no interest in childcare and cried so hard just when I was dropping my daughter off. I had him on my hip during the songs and he would randomly plant kisses on me. It was so sweet. I love my cuddly, affectionate, wild, energetic little man! And when I am ready to pull my hair out after he's gotten out of bed for the 6th time (like tonight), I remember those little kisses and his unadulterated joy playing on the b-ball court and I can't help but smile.

2009-03-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight's kid funny comes from my 3 year old daughter. At bedtime I was listening to them say their prayers. Her's almost made me laugh out loud: "Dear Jesus, please help daddy do his job. And help him to get out of the desert, 'cause if he gets lost and he doesn't have any water or juice, he might get thirsty. And...Amen" Guess I should give her a little better idea of where Daddy is.

2009-03-01T17:15:00.001-08:00

It would seem my 2 year old son is both the source of my daily frustrations and the laughter that alleviates it.
Don't ask me how but we managed to get up, bathe the two youngest (the oldest had showered the night before), get dressed, eat breakfast and still were ready 30 minutes before we had to leave for church at 9am. I wish I knew what we had done to make that happen. Oh well.
As soon as we pulled into the parking lot of the chapel, my son started screaming and crying and desperately trying to get out of his car seat. "I don't want to go to nursery mama! I don't want to! I want to go to your class! No! No! No! Please!!!!" I tried to reassure him that I was just going to sign him in and drop his sister off but then let him stay with me during the songs. I had to drag him into the building - a dead weight the whole time. He continued to bemoan his perceived fate until I took him back out of the nursery room and headed to the main part of the chapel. I warned him that if he wasn't quiet he would go straight to the nursery. "No, Mama, I don't want to go to nursery!!" Never in his life has this child been that calm and quiet. He didn't make a peep during the songs, and so I decided to test the waters during the sermon. He sat quiet as a mouse during the sermon, just holding a hymnal. He only started to get antsy at the end, during communion. But even then, he just played with the kneelers on the floor. Since we don't use those, it wasn't bothering anyone. The Chaplain went to pray for before we took communion so I grabbed my son and whispered in his ear that we were going to pray and he needed to be still. Obediently, he folded his hands and then I heard him in a quiet voice say "Dear Jesus, Please help Daddy do his job. Amen" He looked up and the chaplain was still praying. I could almost hear his thoughts - okay, this guy's still praying so I'll try again but when I say amen this time, he better be done!" So, he lowered his head again and said "Dear Jesus, Please help Daddy do his job. Amen!" He was saying it very quietly and wasn't bothering anyone but it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. He was so serious about it. I told the chaplain later and he was impressed with out little 2 year old prayer warrior. So, while I was beyond frustrated that I couldn't leave him in nursery to start with, I was happy to get to hear this simple prayer, so earnest and heartfelt.
Tonight, I was watching the Nascar race with him. He loves the cars. His running commentary was hilarious. He was practically shouting his remarks, so excited was he. "Look Mama! I want that one to win!" Of course, I was happy to figure out that, without any prompting from Mommy, he was cheering for the guy I cheer for - Jeff Gordon. He wanted him to win, though, because he thought it was Lightning McQueen from the Cars movie. Then there was a wreck and they were showing the different views of the wreck which he found fascinating. "Look Mama! There is it! Where'd it go? I want that one!" Then I told him I like Jr too so he started saying "I want Gordon, I want Juney!" It was cute. Finally, there was a shot of the M&M car and I lost my fellow cheer-er. This goes to prove that candy marketing gets to the kids. He's two, just saw the M&M car, and without any other information suddenly shouted "I want M M!!!!" He'll be happy to know his final choice won the race.
And that was the beginning and the end of my day. There was a lot in between - moving all the dining room furniture into the old playroom, after having moved the playroom to my son's old room yesterday (having moved him to his sisters room a few weeks ago), going to a meeting with other chaplains and families, and heading to Awana only to discover it cancelled because a pipe burst and flooded the back rooms.

14 years ago....

2009-02-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

I am trying to distract myself. I miss my husband (tomorrow marks 11 years from our first date) and my 2 year old son won't stop throwing up!

I went to get the mail and suddenly it hit me, 14 years ago yesterday I rolled my car three and a half times.
I was going 55 mph at the time.
I was 16.
I was driving 3 of my sisters friends home from a surprise birthday party we had for her.
It was dark but clear and the road was dry.
I still remember it all in slow motion - like in the movies.
I remember what I now know to be the tires on the right side blowing out, careening across the road and hitting the median - which was a small hill, a bank really.
I remember watching as the hood crushed up in front of me and feeling the rear of the car come up off the ground.
I remember seeing the world go around and around, the car slowing down to rest on it's side then totter over to the roof.
I remember being disoriented and trying to release my seatbelt but reaching the wrong way. I remember finding the release and falling on my head since I'd been hanging from my seat.
I remember not being able to get out because my door was wedged against the bank. The other three girls climbed out windows on the passenger side and came around and we all pushed and pulled and got my door open.
I remember getting out, turning to look at my car, seeing smoke and the exhaust pipe sticking up at a 90 degree angle to the car. We didn't have cell phones at this time and I remember there was no traffic and it was a particularly deserted part of route 3. Finally, a car passed. Four teenage girls, upside down car, late at night, you'd think they'd stop. Nope. Drove right past. Another car came, one of the girls jumped in front of it to stop them. They stopped, got out, asked if we were okay. We said yes, they got back in their car and drove away. Third car, stopped and called for help and stayed with us til the police, ambulances and fire trucks arrived (I guess it was a slow night).
I remember thinking my dad was going to kill me. Of course, he wouldn't have even thought that but I had just totaled the car and I think I was in shock.
I remember calling my mom from the ambulance and she didn't believe me at first.
I remember one girl having glass in her eye that never cut her.
I remember that we all walked away without a scratch.
I remember waiting in the guard station at Lake of the Woods for a friend of the family to come get me because my mom didn't have a car. My dad had also been driving kids home.
Here's the rest of the story. I had a friend who was late getting home that night and was praying that there would be an accident so she could tell her parents that's why she was late. She told me this on the bus two days later. Then she tells me about this accident she did pass. I told her it was me. She said, no way, 'cause there was no way anyone survived that accident. I showed her the only piece of the car left in one piece - the volvo insignia from the side of the car. (I had thrown the engine from the car, blown tires, and pretty much flattened the car like a pancake) Of course, this made her feel very guilty and I teased her about it for a while.
At the same time as the accident, the parents I was supposed to be meeting realized we were late (I had also gotten lost before, putting us a bit behind schedule) and started to worry. They were praying for our safety at the exact time of our accident. While I don't like getting lost I think it was a good thing that night because if we hadn't gotten lost and been running late, the parents wouldn't have had reason to think anything was wrong and wouldn't have been praying for us. I believe God totally protected us in those moments because there is no way on earth we should have walked away from that accident without a scratch.
Yes, I made sure everyone buckled their seatbelts before I even turned the car on (though one of the girls came out of her seatbelt somewhere during the rolling), and yes, I was going exactly the speed limit. No, I wasn't playing with the radio or distracted in another way. It was a fluke and even the judge at my hearing said it could have happened to the most experienced driver. So, I had to take a perceptive driving class. I consider myself very blessed because around the same time there were 2 other accidents involving teen drivers and 3 passengers. In the first one everyone was killed, the second one, two teens were killed. I don't know what I would have done if I had been driving and someone had been killed. Thank God He spared me that.
On that same note, I realized then that God had not finished with me yet. I set out to do what I could to figure out what He wanted me to do. Honestly, I'm not sure I have it all figured out yet, maybe you never really get it ALL figured out. But I take it one thing at a time and that is how I am now where I am. One step at a time.

my funny boy

2009-02-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

I gave me 2 year old a bath this afternoon. After some time of playing, I started letting the water out of the tub. He didn't want to get out. He stayed in until all the water was gone then started asking for more water. I said no. He asked again. I said no. He said "Plleeeaassee?" I shook my head no. He said "no, don't shake that head!" haha. that's my boy. With the promise of baby powder, he got out of the tub, giggling and clean.

The end of the Saga???

2009-02-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

I took the kids to NJ for winter break. I asked a neighbor (and fellow chaplains wife) to feed our fish and check the mouse traps. I really didn't want to come home to a dead mouse smell in my house - but at the same time I wanted to leave out the traps in hopes that he might finally get caught. When we came home I noticed one of the traps was gone. Being hopeful, I called the neighbor who told me it had been caught on Thursday. Perfect timing since the trash got picked up Friday. She said she could see why he wasn't setting off the traps - he was really small. I knew that but I guess no one believed me when I said how small he was. So, I hope this is the end of the story of Jumbo.
In other news. I had a wonderful trip to NJ. I stopped first at my sister in laws house (which used to be my house before we joined the army). We spent the first night at her house, went to our old church, enjoyed seeing old friends. I miss them! Then we headed on to my in laws. I enjoyed a couple of hour long walks in their neighborhood and surrounding ones. I ran some errands, without kids, and sort of backed off on the mom thing for a bit. On Thursday, my sister in law joined us with my niece. Her husband was going on a winter retreat with the youth group so what better thing to do then join us for fun? Thursday night we left the kids with the grandparents and went out for a girls night. We enjoyed the best hamburgers at Cheesecake Factory, walked through the mall and I probably could have been arrested for drunken behavior even though I hadn't had anything to drink. I was just giddy to be without kids for a while. It was so wonderful! The next night we also went out but I will spare you the details of that night. It was something else. Still, being without the kids was a wonderful feeling. I had planned on returning to my old church again today and then head home but my 3 year old had a fever (around 102) all week and, while she woke up with just 99.6 this morning, I didn't think taking her to church was such a good idea. So, we just loaded the car and headed home. From their door to mine took 6 hours and included 2 stops. And, I had the unique pleasure of not hearing "i'm hungry, I'm bored, are we there yet?" a single time the whole trip. Thank God for DVD players in vehicles and High School Musical 1, 2, and 3 which kept all three kids entertained the entire trip!
And now we are home and settling back into our routine.

The Saga Continues

2009-02-13T11:17:00.000-08:00

My husband has named our rodent friend Jumbo. He thinks it is ironically appropriate. I guess because something so little is causing such a huge uproar. Well, anyway, I discovered just this morning that my little mouse is so little he is eating the peanut butter out of the traps without actually setting them off. So, I set up 4 more old school wooden snap traps, complete with peanut butter. We shall see what happens. I am supposed to be taking a little trip soon and I hope to have caught the mouse by then 'cause I don't want to think about him running all around while we are gone. Yuck!

Randomness

2009-02-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

It's not often enough that I pick up on a new bit of information in Bible stories I have heard since childhood. For instance, it was college, or maybe after, before I realized that Isaac must certainly have realized that his father, Abraham, did not have a sacrifice with him when they headed for the place where God had told Abraham to offer Isaac as a sacrifice. It's an obedient and trusting son who follows his dad then. Today was another one of those times. It's the story of Moses and the burning bush. That's a classic of childhood Sunday School lessons. Here's what I found interesting today. As God was showing Moses the things He would do when Moses went to Pharaoh, He told Moses to throw down his staff and it turned into a snake. Okay, I knew that part. But, obviously Moses was afraid of it 'cause the Bible says he started to run from it and the Lord told him to take it by the tail. And Moses did and it turned back into a staff. Did you catch that? Moses was scared of the snake but when God told him to grab hold of it, he obeyed. It doesn't say Moses hesitated or questioned in that moment (though there is a lot of that in the passage). He just obeyed. My first thought was what would I have done? True, it's unlikely God is going to ask me to grab a snake, but what is He asking me to do? What am I hesitating about or questioning and therefore missing the awesome thing that God wants to do? What situation could be changed by my simply obeying right away?

And no, I am not going to be grabbing our little mouse friend by the tail 'cause I am certain he is not going to turn into a stick if I do!!

A Saga

2009-02-11T17:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, so there is a bit of a saga going on in our house these days. It all started a several days ago when I was sitting in the living room watching TV. I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye but then when I focused, there was nothing there. Moments later, I definitely saw a small rodent run from behind the entertainment center (which sits in the corner of the living room) to behind an old wooden radio that we have about a foot away from the entertainment center. Yep, a mouse! I squealed and jumped on my chair. The girls followed suit. My son just thought we were all nuts. I did not see the mouse again but it didn't change the fact that I had seen him in my living room, running the baseboards. So, after I put the kids to bed, I vacuumed from corner to corner, using every attachment I could find. I discovered my 3 year old thinks behind the couch and the entertainment center are good places to put empty juice boxes and fruit snack wrappers. The onmly evidence of a mouse I found was on the floor of the pantry, which I had just cleaned out a week ago and there had been no evidence of a mouse at that time. Anyway, with the house very clean and the clock striking midnight, this Cinderella went to bed, not feeling at all friendly with the mouse in residence. The next morning I called the housing community office who told me to call maintenance and put in a work order for pest control. The pest guy arrived that afternoon and started putting out sticky traps that form a box, but are open at both ends. I told him where I had seen the mouse. He put boxes around the entertainment center and behind the couch. Then he moved the stove and fridge but found no evidence of a mouse nesting there or even having been there. He still put a trap behind the fridge. Then I told him about the evidence I found in the pantry so he put two traps in there too. The next day there was no mouse to be found in the traps, and the next day still nothing. I figured he had just been passing through and all was well....til today. The traps are still out. I was sitting in the living room, chatting with Dave on the computer. We were instant messaging when suddenly I saw a quick dark movement straight out from the entertainment center, again out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked up there was nothing. I figured I was just seeing things, paranoid now. But then he came out again, straight to the middle of the room, in the middle of the day and with the TV on, no less! He kept darting in and out, then I saw him running under the baseboard heater. By this point I am sitting on the top of the back of the chair and totally freaking out. Mice are supposed to stay hidden during the day, thank you very much!!! To make matters worse, when he ran under the heater, he ran straight through the trap, without getting stuck! That just sent me over the edge. Then I turned and saw him coming around the corner of the dining room, headed for the kitchen. He ran in the kitchen and immediately turned around and ran back to the dining room, where he was hiding behind the china cabinet. I gathered my wits, emptied a shoebox and tried to lure him out with peanut butter set on the floor. I thought maybe if he was brave enough to come out in the daytime, he might venture to the peanut butter and I could trap him with the box. He disappeared though and I have no idea what I would have done if I had caught him. I called maintenance again and told them I had called a few days ago about a mouse in the living room and that pest control had come and set traps but I had just watched the mouse run through the trap. She laughed, then apologized saying "I know that's not funny, but that's funny!" She's right. If it weren't happening to me, I think I'd laugh too. Anyway, she said obviously this wouldn't work and she would call and tell them to leave the work order open and he would come back. He only works on Mon, Wed, Fri and when he didn't show up by dinner time, I figured it's going to be at least Friday. So, I went to walmart and bought traditional traps, plastic snap traps, glue traps and the electronic repel things you plug into the wall to keep pests away. Since I can hear a low buzzing, I wonder if it's going to give me a headache? We'll see. Anyway, I dare that mouse to come out now! Needless to say I am not a happy camper tonight. He's so small but totally freaks me out. He's about as long as the biggest cockroaches we had in SC (which I developed a paranoia of when one flew at my head during a shower at 6am) but taller. Which I guess is obvious since roaches are pretty much flat. The thing that bothers me is, where there is one, there are more, right? I got brave and crawled around the entertainment stand this evening with a flashlight looking for signs of a nesting mouse. I didn't find anything. But that is where he keeps coming from and running back to. What to do? The saga continues...

Daddy Dinner Prayer

2009-02-11T05:37:00.000-08:00

We went out for our monthly daddy dinner a couple of days ago. This is where the only rule is you have to get dessert. Anyway, it was our 3 year olds turn to pray before dinner. Here's her prayer "Dear Jesus, Thank you for this food. Please help Daddy do his job. I really, really, really wish he was here. Take care of daddy. Amen" I thought it was sweet and so totally from her heart.

Proud Mama

2009-02-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

I am so proud of my little girl and I am going to brag on her for a moment. Indulge me!
She got a 100 on her spelling pre-test for the second time in a row. That meant she didn't have to take the actual test.
She got one of the peacemaker of the month awards at her school. The character trait for the month was courage. I put the other two kids in daycare and attended the ceremony. It was really neat. She got a certificate and a coupon for a free ice cream at lunch.
She got her 2nd quarter report card and it was excellent! She got 4's (highest mark she can get, means highly developed at this time) for conveys ideas orally, demonstrates effective listening, and in art. Everything else was 3's for progressing satisfactorily. She also got Outstanding marks for shows respect, shows responsibility, works independently, and follows directions (see why I am so proud of her?) as well as in art and phys ed. She also jumped 2 reading levels. School agrees with her! :-)
Okay, I am done bragging now.

Another kid quote

2009-01-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

I was putting my makeup on this morning in the living room so I could keep an eye on the kids. My 2 year old boy came over and asked what I was doing. I said I was putting on makeup. His response:
"You put on mask?"
Ha Ha!

2009-01-27T16:48:00.000-08:00

I'm glad this is the God who holds me and my family in His hands:

"He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and and darkness. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at his rebuke. By his power he churned up the sea...By his breath the skies became fair; his hand pierced the gliding serpent. And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who can understand the thunder of his power?"

"...who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?

“Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?

Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain
and a way for the thunderbolt,
to bring rain on a land where no man is,
on the desert in which there is no man,
to satisfy the waste and desolate land,
and to make the ground sprout with grass?

“Has the rain a father,
or who has begotten the drops of dew?
From whose womb did the ice come forth,
and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?
The waters become hard like stone,
and the face of the deep is frozen."

-Excerpts from Job

Kid Quote

2009-01-27T07:54:00.001-08:00

I was talking with my kids about something the other day. The 6 year old mentioned she didn't like something. I said I'm sorry. The 3 year old turned, looked at me with her most serious face, and said "You don't say I'm sorry. You only have to say I'm sorry if you do something wrong and mommies don't do anything wrong. Right, Mommy?" Well, if only that were true. Sadly it won't be too long before I am sure she will think everything I do is wrong...a season for everything!

2009-01-26T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well, as always, God provides just what I need when I need it. I had to run to the store in the snow because I was down to one diaper. I was still a little down, missing Dave and all but I had the radio on the Christian station. The first song that broke through my down attitude was this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mITRKCDel44
If you listen to the words it's so incredibly encouraging. Just thinking about how much God loves me - well, I can't help but feel a little happier. Immediately after that was another song that touched me where I was. It was song by Chris Rice and the middle verses were what stood out to me:

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

So, I am a happier person today. I still miss my husband but I know that God loves me even more and if He loves me that much, He certainly cares when I am hurt and lonely and sad. The Matthew West song struck me in that sense. If I am to shine for Jesus, then I can't be living in darkness and so for His own glory, He will bring me out to shine for Him. I have to be willing to go along though. And so I'll shine...

I'm....

2009-01-24T18:13:00.000-08:00

...sad
...lonely
...tired
...physically, emotionally, mentally spent
...definitely trying to get a sitter sometime this week for the kids and getting some breathing time which this mom desperately needs after spending 12 long hours with the kids with nothing more than a 2 minute break the whole time.
...sad
...lonely
...did I say sad?
I haven't talked to Dave in a couple of days and I miss my husband. That's all of it. I'm done.

Christmas "With" Dave

2009-01-20T17:58:00.000-08:00

I thought I would post some pictures from Christmas. This is how we made Dave a part of our Christmas morning. Yep, that's him watching us open some presents from 6000 miles away. My mom was able to capture these moments. It's a rather unusual way to do Christmas but it was special for us.

2009-01-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

So, I went to the grocery store today. After I had put everything away, I had to laugh at what my pantry and freezer looked like.

10 frozen pizzas and 2 bags of chicken nuggets:

4 bottles of white grape juice, 6 boxes of roaring waters juice, 2 12-packs of diet mountain dew (what? I don't drink coffee so I have to have something to get me through the day)

6 boxes of fruit snacks and 2 boxes of granola bars
2 bags of goldfish (we had 3 but one has already been devoured) and 4 boxes of mac and cheese:
11 boxes of cereal:

Lest you worry about the nutrition my kids are getting, I also have salad and apples in the fridge, broccoli in the freezer and corn in the pantry. I'd say we are pretty stuck in a rut though. I also bought 2 cans of chili without beans and convinced my kids it was meatballs already cut up and when I gave them ritz crackers to use as spoons, they actually ate it! That's only amazing if you know how extremely picky my kids are.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T17:07:00.001-08:00

2009 is officially here and I am happy. I started the year off the right way. I organized the pantry, cleaned under the fridge, dishwasher, and stove, did the dishes, got the girls to clean their room completely, cleaned out the fridge and freezer (including washing down the shelves and walls), and got all the trash gathered up and out to the curb. Overall, it was a very productive day.
New Years Eve we went out to dinner and then a quick stop at a grocery store. I don't normally go to this particular store and was surprised to get a coupon for 20 cents off per gallon of gas (max.20 gallons) that day at Sunoco. Well, I needed gas and I was able to get it for 1.55/gal. It's 1.71 on post. I was a happy girl.
Today we went to the mall to get the girls hair trimmed and my dear son made up some new songs on the way. I do believe he is confusing his songs. There were two "original" songs. See if you can figure out the songs he mixed together.
"Santa tree, santa tree, santa tree, it's so shiny, santa tree, santa tree, ha ha ha!" (this is 3 songs mixed together)
"Twinkle little star, twinkle little star, let it shine." (two songs)
There was another one with jingle bells but I can't remember it. Oh well.
Time to go put him back in bed....again...sigh.

Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009

2008-12-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's time for another update! :-) Things have been busy and that's a good thing. The busier things are the less time we have to dwell on missing Dave. I've been thinking about what to write here and I don't know. It's not for lack of things to write about. Of course, there are the daily ins and outs of our days, the snow (or lack of it this past week - I can't believe we can see the grass again!), the kid sayings - like our 2 year old asking if Wall E needed batteries when we watched the movie the other night, or our 3 year old stating that Wall E was not "in charge" instead of charged. I could go on and on about decorating for Christmas and what fun it was to put up all my Santas (numbering over 500) even if it did take a week and how it only took one day to take everything down and return the house to normal. I could bemoan the fact that my son refuses to sleep in his own room now, preferring to sleep on the floor next to my bed and how after a couple of weeks of that I managed to get him to sleep on the floor in his sisters room. And how I fought tooth and nail one night trying to get him to sleep in his room at 3 in the morning while he tried every trick in the book to get out of his room -"I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm scared, I'm hurt, I'm not feeling well, I need medicine, I have poopy, I need a diaper, I have one last book, Mommy! I want mommy....." I could recount the many trips to the doctor - 6 year old has eye infection, needs eye drops and antibiotic, 2 year old has double eye infection, double ear infection, needs to be held down while drops are applied, has allergic reaction to antibiotic and is covered in hives, try new antibiotic as double ear infection remains, third child gets eye infection...Got it? But, that's not where I am going to go. Instead I thought I would look at where 2008 has taken me.
2008 started with us in South Carolina. We had just packed up the last of our earthly belongings and our little family and caravaned from New Jersey to South Carolina. Friends of the family offered me and the kids a fully furnished mobile home rent free - just pay the electric bill. It meant we could be close to Dave while he was in CHBOLC at Fort Jackson. I jumped on it. If you haven't been following our story on here all along then you missed some interesting speedbumps on our journey from New Jersey to Fort Drum with a stop in South Carolina - including no water for a while. But, we were confident that God was in control and we were along for the ride, however bumpy. After 12 weeks of spending wonderful time with family in Columbia and experiencing some growing and stretching as a family (and a little practice for what my life would be like with the kids after Dave deployed) Dave graduated and we packed up everything again and headed for the North Country, with stops in Virginia and New Jersey on the way.
After arriving at Fort Drum in April, we took up residence in the Fort Drum Inn - 5 of us in one hotel room with a mini fridge and a microwave. We ate out A LOT!! Dave started work as the chaplain for the 91st MP Battalion. Life in the Inn was tolerable but again a stretching experience. 5 weeks in we had no hope of housing and found a fully furnished 2 bedroom apartment that would work for us. We moved again! At least we were able to cook meals and eat at "home." After checking the housing list over and over with no movement on getting a house, we dropped from the 4 bedroom house we were allowed to occupy to a 3 bedroom which was the minimum we needed to live comfortably. The next week we were offered a house! So, at the end of June we packed up all our belongings again and moved on post. Our house is nice and we got a wonderful street with little traffic and lots of kids. A playground is right outside our back door. There are 3 other chaplains family just on our little street and our kids are all friends. It's such a blessing to have people nearby that I can all at a moments notice to watch the kids if I need to make an emergency run somewhere. And then there's my Fort Drum angel. She was the first person I met on post. Turns out she was was another chaplains wife and has two little boys (make that 3 now). She welcomed me into her home the first day we met and watched our kids so Dave and I could go out. When Dave did deploy she showed up at my door (not knowing he had left that day but sent by God just the same, I am sure) and took the girls out to the playground. The military community is a family as real as a biological family. I have had mystery people shovel my driveway, tips shared for deployments, snow, kids, anything and everything.
The biggest happening in 2008 was the deployment of my husband. He left the first week of November. Nothing I have ever had to do was as hard as waking my kids at 6:30 in the morning and telling them it was time to get up and say goodbye to Daddy. I am not one to cry. Before this deployment, I could count on one hand the number of times I have cried since Dave and were married 9 years ago. This deployment has radically changed that. I feel things much more deeply and can cry at the drop of the hat with the thought of saying goodbye that day, the image of Dave as he hugged the kids goodbye for the last time, or even looking at some of the families on our street who are facing their first deployment and knowing what heartbreak they will have to deal with, just as I did. We are now finishing the 2nd month of a 12 month deployment and all I can say is God has been my stronghold. He's provided, he's protected, he's lifted me up and he's held me when I didn't think I could do anything more.
While it isn't easy, I wouldn't trade this for the world. God has never been more real to me. I have never more literally felt the prayers of those who love and care for me. I've never been more aware of how strong I really am or how capable. And I believe with all my heart that when this deployment ends, my marriage will be stronger and my family a better family for it. For that and so many other things God has shown me in 2008 I am grateful.
And now I look forward to 2009. Sure, there will be more daily goings on of our life to report, more kids sayings that make me roll on the floor laughing, another Christmas season to decorate my house and pull out all those Santas (joined by the ones I added this year), more snow to shovel (probably too much more!) and more sick children with trips to the doctor but I'm excited most about what God is going to teach me. I'm excited for the changes that are down the path for me because I have learned that while they are difficult sometimes to adjust to, change is a place where God can work clearly - at least in my life. And I am most excited about 2009 because it means we will be living in the year when my husband and the father of my children returns to his family, having served his God and his country with great sacrifice. I am so proud of him!

Me and Christmas

2008-12-12T10:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I lifted this from someone else's blog but I thought the questions were fun and seasonally appropriate.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate!
Hot Chocolate all winter long but I have to have a little egg nog on Christmas

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
He leaves one gift for each child unwrapped in a red felt bag in the middle of the living room floor.

3. Colored lights or white?
white

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
I do have some hung from one of my garlands

5. When do you put up decorations?
If Dave is home I can't start 'til Dec 1 (though I may start rearranging things right after Thanksgiving in preparation for decorations) but this year I started the week of Thanksgiving since I could use my brother in law for the heavy lifting!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Hmmm...we started a tradition of having filet mignon for Christmas dinner. Yum

7. What is your favorite holiday memory as a child?
So many...waking up early to see what Santa left in our stockings, taking turns with my sister reading various christmas passages from the Bible and I love candlelight christmas eve services.

8. Do you send Christmas cards/E-cards or both?
Christmas cards

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Nope - have to extend that torture as long as possible - it builds the excitement for Christmas day.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
I have 2. One is entirely decorated with Santa ornaments. The other is wrapped in ribbon and garland lights. It's covered in bows, balls, and ornaments we've collected since we were children, including a lenox silver bell or ball for every year of my life - courtesy of my aunt.

11. Snow! love it or dread it?
Love the snow - dread the shoveling!

12. Can you ice skate?
Yes but not well.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I believe on my first Christmas I received a stuffed bear. I slept with it forever, took it to college, and now have passed on the very used bear to my daughter to help her fight off bad dreams.

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you?
Remembering why we have Christmas

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Mmmm...mom's peanut butter fudge

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Again, so many - reading the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas morning, baking a birthday cake and singing happy birthday to Jesus (this tradition started on a request from my oldest daughter when she was 2), filet mignon for dinner

17. What tops your Christmas tree?
The kids tree has a star, the santa tree has a santa (what else?) and the main tree has a bow to remind us that Jesus was the ultimate gift of Christmas. I tried an angel years ago but it blinked obnoxiously and drove me batty so it was "lost" and replaced with my bow.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
I can't lie - I love the anticipation of receiving but I really enjoy the giving - especially now that I have kids.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Mary did you know?

20. Candy canes?
Aaaa...indifferent

21. What do you want for Christmas?
My husband home but since that can't happen....? I have no idea.

22. Do you attend a Christmas party?
Yep, somewhere, somehow, sometime I always manage to get to one.

23. Do you dress-up for Christmas Eve or Pj's.
Well, of course, we dress up for church but then hop into comfy cozy warm pjs when we get home and snuggle in with some hot chocolate

24. Do you own a Santa hat?
Well, not for me to wear but I have literally hundreds adorning the heads of my santa collection.

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with?
Family from near and far.

2008-12-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

It's snowing...again. I do love the snow but I haven't learned to plan for it yet. I suppose living in the North Country, I should start planning extra time into my morning to take care of snow shoveling. However, today I didn't even think about it. I shoveled 18 inches in a 24 hour period starting on Friday morning but most of yesterday was clear. Anyway, kids went to bed all out of sorts last night - sore throats, coughing, etc. They didn't get up until 8 (we have to leave for church at 9) and since the littlest is always in my room by 6:30, I don't set an alarm. Well, today that backfired. He didn't come in and I didn't get up. When I got downstairs I looked outside and everything was covered in snow. It would just not be possible to get all the shoveling done and get 3 kids dressed and fed, not to mention get myself ready in time. I think even if I had time to shovel before getting ready for church, we wouldn't be able to get out since our street hasn't been plowed yet. It's still snowing too. I wonder if we will have AWANA tonight. It's supposed to snow all day - we have lake effect snow advisories until 7 tonight - right through AWANA time. So, no church for us today. We'll do our advent wreath at lunch and read through today's advent page in our book. It'll be a nice day. We are well on our way to the average 200 inches of snow a year. We have to have had at least 50 inches and we aren't even in the main snow months yet!!!!!

2008-12-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

Wow, time sure if flying. Sometimes it feels like the year Dave will be gone is going to be forever and other times, it seems like the days and weeks are passing so quickly. Tomorrow will be one month and I can't believe it. Of course, I miss him more than I can express but I've been staying so busy I haven't had time to dwell on it.
My sister and her husband were here last week, as I mentioned in the last post. Boy was it an adventure! Saturday night the upstairs toilets started overflowing, leaking large amounts of water from the base and backing up into the master tub. Yuck!!! I called maintenance and someone came out and snaked the lines, promising to recommend they bring in an outside company to jet the lines since this isn't the first time we have had plumbing issues (i.e. the flood in our laundry room when we first moved in). Fine, we should be able to manage with 6 people and one bathroom for the weekend. Early, early, early Sunday morning I heard dripping in the dining room (I was sleeping in the living room on a pull out couch). Yikes! The ceiling was dripping water. So, my sister and I poked a little bigger hole in the plaster and hoped that we could last until a decent hour to call maintenance back. I didn't get back to sleep and finally called a few hours later at 7. The same guy came back, punched a much bigger hole in the ceiling and decided it was just water from our earlier flood in the bathroom and that it should dry up soon. We opted to go ahead and go to chapel. Then I went to do laundry and guess what? Flooded the laundry room again. I put in another call to maintenance and they made a work order. Unfortunately this is now Thanksgiving week and they are shorthanded because of people taking holidays. Well, we'll make it work. The laundry will just pile up. Or so I thought...I plopped into bed around 11 on Tuesday night (I think it was Tuesday anyway) and was immediately gotten up by a little boy with a dirty diaper. Changed diaper, returned child to bed. 10 minutes later: wet diaper. 10 minutes later: dirty diaper. 15 minutes later, second child wakes up crying. Comfort her and return to my bed downstairs. 15 minutes later crying son at top of stairs. return him to bed, just make it down the stairs when he starts crying frantically. Return to him room where he has thrown up on everything. Bathe child, change sheets, blankets, pillowcases, the works. That's when I remember I can't wash any of these items because it will flood the laundry room. So, I fill the tub with water and put everything in to soak. Maybe 20 minutes later he's crying again and I go to discover he's thrown up again. No more clean sheets left and the tub is full of sheets so I have to wake up my sister and her husband so I can get into the master bathroom to bathe him. Then I add all his newly soiled bedthings to the bathtub and take him downstairs with me. It's 12:30 now. I sit in the rocking chair/recliner, cradling him covered in a towel (much easier to clean up after a throw up!) He went on to throw up 2 more times and finally fell asleep around 2. I then put him on a small fold out kids couch right beside the bed I was sleeping in and we got a little sleep. I called maintenance first thing in the morning to try to get a rush on the plumbing fix now that we had a sick child and no washing machine use. They promised they'd be there in the afternoon. The outside company had to fix their jet machine. Okay, I head to the laundromat to wash all the yucky stuff and dry them just enough to get them home to our dryer (which cost me $12.50). By the way, they did come and they did find a huge clog and everything is working well now (and the little man is better too).
So, let's see what else did we do? My sister and I took the girls to make advent wreaths at the chapel on Saturday morning while her husband watched our little guy. Later in the day I took our older daughter to see High School Musical 3. We had a great time together. Sunday was chapel and Awana later in the day. Monday I ran errands including the post office and Walmart. Tuesday I ran a lot of errands, this time with my sister and brother in law in tow. She enjoyed using me for my military discount, and discount coupons I had. Wednesday, I took both girls to the movies to see Bolt. I started feeling really run down during the movie and attributed it to the crazy sick night before. When we came out of the theatre we were meeting my sister, brother in law and my son and we were supposed to head to Friendlys for dinner. It had been snowing pretty hard and I wasn't feeling great so we opted to head home and try Friendlys on Friday. We walked in the door and I managed to get my shoes and coat off before falling into bed at 5:15. We took my temperature and I was 100.7 (when I normally am 97.5) So, I was really sick. My sister and brother in law really stepped up then. They fed the kids, got them all ready for bed and into bed. Besides a sore throat, I was pretty much better by the morning. I am so thankful they were here when that hit me. I don't know how I would have managed without them.
That brings us to Thanksgiving. It was not my normal Thanksgiving. I'm so used to football being on all day but instead this year I got to watch Christmas movies. And instead of turkey (which we aren't really fans of) we had a honey glazed ham. Yum. I made my brother in law work for his keep. He shoveled snow and dragged in Christmas decorations for me. I was very happy about that. My house is so Christmas-y now. Anyway, Friday we did manage to go to Friendlys and that was yummy too. Thanks Mel and Eric for that! I found out they have a military discount which was nice. Sadly, Saturday they had to go home.
But it wasn't an empty house for long. My husbands parents arrived Monday and just left this morning. Oh, but first there was Sunday. I woke up feeling a little off and wasn't sure if we were going to go to Chapel but once the kids were up I figured if we were all ready in time, we would go. Would you believe I had all four of us ready (including washing my hair) in just 1/2 an hour!!! So, not only did we go to Chapel, we also hit Dunkin Donuts before we went. It was a good day. Monday was a fairly quiet day until the in laws arrived. I had just told the kids that "Special visitors' were coming. They didn't know who it was so they were very excited when they found out who was at the door. Again I totally used my in laws to the greatest advantage. They watched the kids and I just about finished the Christmas shopping. Yea!!! I ran errrands from 9:30 to 2:30 on Tuesday and a bit longer on Wednesday. Of course, Wednesday, I had a 2 hour get together in the morning for Chaplains wives and then I had some returns to make and I decided to pamper myself a little and get my nails done. All in all it was a very nice day. Tuesday night we went to Red Lobster for dinner (Thanks to the in laws for that). My kids love eating there. They eat just about everything on their plates. I also made a quick stop at Target and finally found the one item our son is asking Santa for that I had not been able to find anywhere. It was the last one on the shelf (and it hadn't been there the week before). Wednesday night we attended the Christmas tree lighting at the chapel (and made it on the news too), got to see Santa and make some crafts with the kids. When we got home, we finished the Christmas present opening we had started before the lighting. The kids got some things they really wanted. Our oldest got a new bike, our middle daughter got the Loving Family Grand Dollhouse to share with her sister, and our little boy got a battery operated ride on bike, among other things.
So, if you managed to read all that, you can see that we have been staying very busy and it has truly helped the days pass. Even today, though the in laws left this morning, my oldest woke up with one eye stuck shut with goop so she missed school. After I dropped our middle child at preschool, the youngest at daycare, we headed to the doctor where she got to different medicines. We were home by noon, time enough to give the baby a nap before picking the other child up from preschool. And tomorrow doesn't look any duller. I have a brunch in the morning.
Now you are up to date and probably know more than you ever wanted to know about my life these last couple of weeks.
Anyone want to brave the weather and come visit in January or February???? It's going to be a couple of long, lonely months until spring starts trying to break through and we can have visitors again. It really makes a difference, giving us something to look forward to, something to distract the kids from how different our life really is with Daddy gone, and serves to sufficiently exhaust us we sleep hard at night! :-) So, you have an open invitation...Come to the North Country....I have a bed for you.

Sunday ponderings

2008-11-22T10:19:00.003-08:00

Anyone wonder where I went? I have been trying really hard to keep busy. By the time the kids are in bed, I am exhausted and don't have the will to sit down and blog.
This week I have my sister and brother in law visiting. They drove overnight last night to get here and are now taking a nap. I plan on taking complete and total advantage of their presence. I have great plans to take the girls to the movies, use them as a babysitter while I run errands, enjoy their treating us to dinner out one night, Christmas shopping with no kids! The list could go on and on. My sister is pregnant with her first baby so I'm giving her lots of free training! One baby will seem easy after she's spent a week with my three!
So I got hit with another truth during church this past Sunday. It wasn't really brought on by the sermon. In fact, I am not sure I could even tell you what the sermon was about though I know it was in I Cor. 10. I think it was one of the songs we sang before the sermon that got me thinking. So, here it is - again, more for me to remember than anything else.
Deployment is humbling. Our day to day life was something I didn't think twice about because I had back up. Between the two of us, dedicated to our children, we always managed to have all 3 kids covered. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive a deployment. Upon reflection Sunday morning, I realized I have had more energy and accomplished more in the last 2 weeks than I did when Dave was home. I've cooked dinner when we used to eat out. I've done laundry that Dave used to help with. I've run errands, bathed, dressed and fed 3 kids, cleaned house, filled the car with gas, taken out the trash, shoveled the sidewalk, gone to parent/teacher conferences, gotten to the gym regularly and managed to add extra things related to our life during deployment...all without so much as a headache. There is no explanation besides God's grace and strength flowing through me. There is no way I could do this by myself. I am blessed to know a God who loves me and is walking step for step beside me every moment of the day, picking me up when I can't go on, giving extra measures of strength, patience, understanding, even energy when I need it. So, deployment is humbling. It's not "I can do it" but "God is doing it every moment of every day." I'll not even pretend to think otherwise. Today I am His, praying that my attitude and actions over the next year reflect only the glory of God as He carries us through. II Timothy 2:10 says "Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." I kind of feel like this verse is what's behind my attitude about this deployment. It's not just my husband being gone for a year, working alongside soldiers who are every day fighting a war. It's that we are in this situation because we want people, soldiers, to see Christ. I have a verse for my husband too. I thought of him and his duties when I read it. Skip just a couple of chapters to II Timothy 4:5: "Keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." So, stay strong Honey! It's all for His glory.

2008-11-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of people who are praying for us read this blog. So, I am asking for your prayers now. Not so much for me, though I appreciate them, but for my 6 year old. She's having a hard time tonight, missing Daddy. She seemed to be doing okay but tonight when I went to check on her after I had put her in bed, she was crying quietly. I asked what was wrong and she said she was really missing Daddy. There was nothing I could do for her, no way to heal the hurt. The promise that things would seem better in the morning and that we would watch one of the videos we had made of her playing with daddy seemed to help just a little. At least I am old enough to understand God's calling on our lives and that it sometimes requires sacrifice. She doesn't get that. She just knows she loves and misses her daddy and he's not coming home for a long time. After promising to check on her again later, I left her with tears staining her cheeks, head on a pillowcase printed with daddy's face, hugging her daddy doll and cuddled up with her daddy's stuffed seal from childhood. As I shut the door, she squeezed the doll so she could hear his voice saying "I love you Rachel, I miss you, I love you so much" and heard her quietly respond "I love you too." It absolutely shattered my heart. I can't fix this and I hate it. So, please pray for her, pray for me that I will be sensitive to her needs and feelings even when she seems fine. Side note: As she was saying the blessing over dinner tonight she said "Thank you that daddy is fighting for us and that we don't have to fight." I guess it's on her mind more than I realized.

Learning in Deployment

2008-11-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I am less than a week into our first deployment and I am happy to report that I am already learning things. I mentioned before that I am excited to see what God is going to do during this year and it's true (though I do wish it could be less painful). We were in church yesterday when something struck me. I don't know what made the thoughts come to mind - something in a song, something the chaplain said, or just because the separation of families was on my mind. Whatever it was, I thought it was an important thought and I want to record it here so that I remember.
When a husband deploys, it feels as if a piece of you is missing. Just talking to him once a day (or less) is not enough to fill the emptiness, the hole left in your heart. Shouldn't the same be true of our relationship with Jesus? Shouldn't we be in such constant communion with Him that when we become side-tracked by earthly diversions we instantly feel that heart wrenching emptiness? How do you feel when you become separated from your daily communion with God by all the "important" things of the world? Our love for Jesus, our need for Him should be greater than that for our husband. If it's not, something's wrong and our separation from our husband will be harder. If it is, then we have built in support in difficult times, a constant companion to take our troubles to - and leave them! -and the knowledge that our bond to our husband is held steadfast by the arms of Jesus that span the thousands of miles between us.

My parents visited this weekend - thanks mom and dad! It was a good diversion for our first weekend without Daddy. We kept busy and the kids couldn't have been happier. They brought a fish tank with them so we went to get fish for the kids. Three goldfish for three children. Our 2 year old boy decided to name his "Moo." Funny boy - a fish names "moo" and to top it off, it's a goldfish that's white. Hmmm...
Snow today again. It's lake effect but we are lucky that it is mixed with rain so it's not sticking to the roads which means I don't have to shovel! Yea!!! I'm not looking forward to that. Guess that's all for now.
Thanks to all of you who read and have left comments and sent prayers to the throneroom of heaven on our behalf. God bless you all!!!

2008-11-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and prayers from everyone here! Thank you so much. I assure you we feel God answering your prayers. One of our neighbors shared a great craft for the kids to do and even brought me her extra supplies. I felt like a part of a family thrown together by terrible circumstances. I draw strength from these woman who share their struggles, their successes, their lives with virtual strangers who become family when our husbands deploy.
I have enjoyed talking to Dave twice since he arrived in Kuwait. He seems a little confused with the time. I suppose that will take time to get used to. He seems to be doing okay and I hope that talking to us and our assurances that all is well here makes things a bit easier on him.
We had a lovely evening tonight. After a delicious dinner of chicken, tater tots and broccoli, I pulled the sleeper sofa out in preparation of my parents arrival tonight. After making the bed, the kids all piled on and we put in one of the movies Dave left for the girls - Barbie in the Christmas Carol. I think we might make this a regular thing. It was a lot of fun to be in bed in the living room and watching a movie. So, we are doing as well as can be expected but we still need your prayers as it is a long road ahead of us. I thank God for all of you - even those I don't know but who have left comments letting me know you are praying for us. It means more to me than I can express.

2008-11-06T18:26:00.001-08:00

This is what I went to sleep seeing on Tuesday night:

And this is what I went to sleep seeing last night.
In case you don't get the significance - Dave has deployed. I woke the kids up early since he was leaving early. The absolute hardest thing I have ever had to say was "wake up so you can say goodbye to Daddy." The tears started at those words. It was a very rough day yesterday. I was hit with waves of sadness that would literally wash over my very being. Until yesterday I don't think I knew what it meant to have a feeling wash over you. The kids and I spent the day inside just being. I managed to feed them but that was about it. The house is a disaster as a result. However, the girls started getting cabin fever but I just wasn't ready to go outside and possibly run into anyone. As it was, I was not holding it together very well. God knew and He was hearing the prayers of my friends and family. He sent my Fort Drum angel. Some of you may remember the story of the first person I met on post - a fellow chaplain's wife with three children who had us over for lunch that first day and continued to have us over for playdates and meals, even babysitting the girls while our stuff was delivered. Well, yesterday she had been playing with her kids at our playground when her son needed a potty. She knocked on our door, not knowing Dave had left just hours before. I was a mess and she gave me a hug and offered to take the girls to the playground with them. What a wonderful friend she is! God is faithful.
Later that night, I went with another wife from our battalion to pick up Dave's car. She brought her daughter to the house to watch the kids. She kept talking about what a wonderful job Dave had done with the soldiers and families before they left. I was so proud to hear that his job was appreciated and it helped a little to hear about what he did after he left us. The little trip was the beginning of me coming back to life. I survived it all without crying. This morning I got everyone up, dressed, fed and ready for the trip to the bus stop with 10 minutes to spare. I did fine at the bus stop with the other moms, took our middle child to preschool and headed to PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel). It was a little hard but I stayed strong through this too. I have to say though, a theme is developing for me. I had been praying all day yesterday that God would be my strength, my shield, my fortress, my stronghold - all the things I had been reading in Psalms. When I got in Dave's car to drive it home last night a song based on one of those verses was playing on the radio, and then when I walked into PWOC they were singing another song with that same theme. Hmmm...
Well, today has gone well. I've talked to a lot of people here about Dave's departure and how we are doing and managed not to fall apart during any of the conversations. The key is to really stay in the moment. If I stop and think about how long this deployment is going to be I feel that wash of grief flow over me again but it's manageable if I focus on living day to day, hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute.
I got to talk to him today. He's safely in Kuwait. He'll be there for a while then move on to where they will be doing their job. I know he misses us - the hardest part for me now is to close my eyes and see his face when he was telling our kids goodbye. That still makes me cry. Initially I thought he had the easier side because at least he had somewhere to go, a mission to accomplish, that he was moving forward. But I realize that while I have to adjust to not hearing his steady breathing beside me in bed, not having him walk in the door at the end of the day and playing with the kids not knowing what he is doing, where he is and if he is safe, at least I have the kids and can hug and kiss them whenever I want. So, I hurt for what he doesn't have and that is what brings tears to my eyes now.
I think of something my oldest daughter said to the middle daughter yesterday. They were coming down the stairs, holding hands and the oldest said "don't worry, daddy will be home before you know it." The middle one replied "It's okay. I have a sad face on but if I stick my tongue out I smile." Now, when I feel sad, I remember that and I stick my tongue out. It's true, it makes me smile (of course, the story behind it is part of the reason for the smile).
The next year is going to be very difficult, full of ups and downs, so continue to keep us in your prayers - especially Dave's safety! Thank you for your prayers so far.

SNOW...IN OCTOBER!?!?

2008-10-29T13:05:00.001-07:00

Well, it's a sea of white outside our window now. The snow has just now stopped falling, having started over 26 hours ago! The kids had a blast playing today since our oldest had school cancelled. Last night, to celebrate the first snow of the season, I made yummy pasta for dinner. Once we had cleaned up from dinner, the kids and I made rice krispy treats which is a family tradition when it snows.

It's a perfect treat to make with 3 kids - one did the butter, one the marshmallows, and one the rice krispies. Then while they cooled, we played candy land. It was a really fun evening. Here are some pictures of the fun we have had the last 24 hours.

The first flakes of the season. Can you tell how big they were?:

a little later:

Here the kids are playing this morning. The snow doesn't look quite as deep as it really is because it had been packed down a little by the time I got the pictures. Yes, my oldest is wearing jeans. Somehow we don't have a snowsuit for her. So, we layered tights and jeans and will head out later to get her an actual snowsuit. Note the last picture - you can see how deep the snow was this morning when the neighbor shoveled his driveway - and it hadn't finished snowing yet!

Terrible, Terrific Two's

2008-10-25T11:14:00.001-07:00

Our baby turned two yesterday. I made a candy train cake, got balloons, and wrapped a few presents. He had the unfortunate business of going to the doctor on his birthday where the doctor thought he sounded wheezy again and decided we should give him a nebulizer treatment in the office. He fought and cried so hard, the nurse had to lie him down and practically lie on top of him while I held his head still. He soaked his clothes with sweat and his hair was dripping. When we were finally done the doctor said he might have a little bronchiolitis so we would need to use his inhaler and mask again 2-3 times a day and come back in on Tuesday. We're keeping our fingers crossed. Anyway, after that trauma, he got a lollipop and we headed home. We went out to dinner for his birthday then headed home for cake and presents. I think he had a great birthday. I can't believe my baby is 2!!

From Aunt Becky, Uncle Dave and Bella-boo:

From Lipstick Granna and Santa Poppop:

The Cake:

Psalm 25

2008-10-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, I haven't posted a Psalm study in a while. I found I was feeling too analytical about it all, instead of just reading the passage and noting what stood out to me because of whatever my current circumstances are. This was partly due to my getting so far ahead of myself in the readings that I had to go back and try to remember what had stood out to me and why. So, I took a break and now I have one. It's verse one and the first part of verse two that seemed to resonate with my own heart. "To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God." With deployment looming ever closer this is all I can say. I don't know what else to pray except to repeat over and over - "I trust you God." This is followed by "my hope is in you all day long" in verse 5. My goal is for those sentiments to be true, in spite of the difficult times ahead. I believe that if I can make those statements true in my daily life, not just words I say or how I feel when things go well, then those difficult times will be a bit easier to face.
Now with two toddlers suffering from bronchiolitis and needing inhalers every 4 hours for the next week, one of them coughing so much it makes him throw up, and the other also suffering from double ear infections, I am going to log off and take this quiet moment to clean something.

concrete thinkers...

2008-10-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

Never was it more clear to me that children are egocentric, concrete thinkers than the other night when we were working on Awana verses before bed. Our oldest is in 1st grade, just started her new book, and has already learned 5 verses this week. We were discussing her latest verse - "For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." I was explaining the meaning of the verse to my 6 year old - how if you accept God's free gift you get to spend forever and ever in heaven - when my 3 year old (still in potty training mode) piped in and asked with innocent simplicity:
"But where will you go potty?"
She understands very little outside her own world. It had to have been one of her cuter moments.

Tagged

2008-09-22T11:32:00.001-07:00

I just got tagged by a wonderful friend - Laura. The idea is that I have to come up with 6 random things about me.
1. I am terribly excited today as my almost 2 year old son decided it would be fun to start using the potty this morning! Could it be too good to be true?
2. I LOVE Christmas. Depending on his mood my husband calls me either a Christmas elf or a Christmas nazi. We must have 5 Christmas trees in the garage. I have a whole second set of home decor for the living areas of our house. After Thanksgiving I start taking down pictures and other decor to replace them with all things Christmas. It takes a good week to complete and just as long to undo it all come January but I love it! I collect Santas too. I have a whole tree dedicated to Santa ornaments and dozens, maybe hundreds of santas will go on display around my house.
3. I love to bake. Tuesdays are treat tuesdays in my husbands office. I bake up some goodie, send it in with him, and his assistant makes sure everyone knows when it has arrived. I've done cookies, cakes, fudge, brownies, chocolate coated pretzels - whatever strikes me. This week they are getting rice krispy treats drizzled in chocolate.
4. I'm a very shy person, often feeling awkward and out of place in social situations especially if I don't know anyone. My kids have been a great ice breaker for me in that respect.
5. I'm terrified of falling from heights. I can't even walk next to glass railings on the second floor of a mall for a totally irrational fear that someone might push me over. But, I have never let it stop me from once in a lifetime opportunities. When I went to France on a missions trip, we spent a couple days in Paris sightseeing before we left. Of course, I had to go up the Eiffel Tower. I only got up a few flights of stairs before I was pressed into a corner of one of the landings. Two of my guy friends had to grab my hands and one pushed while the other pulled me up the rest of the flights to the elevator. Once up I was pressed to the innermost area of the platform. My wonderful friends formed a half circle around me (facing away from me) so I could stand near the edge and take a picture. Then straight down for me!!!! I have also braved kissing the Blarney Stone in Ireland (Where you have to hang out over a ledge upside down), going to the top of the Empire State Building, and the observation tower at Niagara Falls while waiting in line to ride the Maid of the Mist.
6. One of my favorite things - my husband and I were each other's first kiss. Isn't it sweet? :-) We met in college, fell in love, got engaged on the 4th of July after just 4 months of dating, got married 11 months later in June and have lived happily ever after! :-)

Like Father, Like Son

2008-09-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

It seems our son wants to follow in his father's footsteps - or at least follow him on deployment.

Here he tries on Daddy's boots while we were still living in apartments this summer.

Just this week he got Daddy's beret and as you can see, was quite happy about wearing it.

Here Dave was packing one of his boxes to be shipped to where he will be deploying and our son was helping. When Dave ran upstairs to get something, our son climbed on in.

In other news, our 3 year old started preschool and this is her on her first day.

Also, our 6 year old finally got the nerve to try riding her 2 wheeler with no training wheels. I noticed that one of them was bent up and she wasn't using it so I took it off and went back inside the house. A few minutes later there was frantic knocking on our door and the boy you see in one of the pictures was excitedly saying "she's doing it, she's doing it!" He had helped her take the other wheel off and she just took off. There was no falling down, no mommy or daddy holding the back of the bike and cheering her on (I feel like we missed a parent milestone there) but I was so proud of her and she was proud of herself.

Last, I decorated the front of our house for fall, and did some landscaping. The fruits of my labor:

Psalm 24

2008-09-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

Dave is away on his retreat for the next three days. Bored - or rather avoiding cleaning - I have been channel surfing. I went higher in the channels than I normally do and landed on the military channel playing a program called God's Soldier. It's following US army chaplains in Iraq. It's one of those things where I want to change the channel because it's hard to watch what they have to deal with and not get a little scared but at the same time, I can't change the channel. I just can't. It's really fascinating to see them in action and it's about as close as I will come to getting an idea of what my husband will be living for a whole year. It's overwhelming to me.

Psalm 24
Today's Psalm is Psalm 24 and I want to focus on verse 1. "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." The place where I am and the place across the ocean where my husband will be are both the Lord's. It's His and He is in control of all that happens there. Nothing will happen outside what He allows. There's comfort in that, peace in that. I am His. Dave is His. We may be separated by an ocean and living in drastically different circumstances but we are connected by the Lord. Our common ground there will not change. We are a cord of three strands which can not easily be broken.

Psalm 23

2008-09-08T12:01:00.001-07:00

This is a very popular Psalm - one familiar even to those with no particular religious inclinations. I have many notes around the edges of this Psalm from the many sermons, lectures, and Bible studies that covered it, including a note that my dad read verse 4 to my grandfather as he lay on his deathbed. Perhaps it is at death's doorstep that this Psalm is most commonly heard but there is a lifetime message in it. God is our shepherd. Only he knows the safe places for us to rest, the grazing places with abundant drink. It's true He cares about our physical needs but it's His provision of our spiritual needs that are illustrated so beautifully here. Here's a little breakdown by verse of how He provides:
1, 2, 5 - He feeds
3, 5 - He cares
3 - He guides
4, 6 - He Protects.
More specifically, in verse one He is the Provider: "I shall not be in want." Of course, that doesn't mean we won't ever want anything, but it does mean that He will provide our needs and wants according to His will for our life as we follow the Shepherd. When we stray from His path, we find emptiness that can not be filled but when we stay on the way the Shepherd leads, we are constantly satisfied, filled. In verse 2 it says "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters." This is where you can see God as your peace. In this tumultuous world, we can easily live in a state of fear. For me, it could be wondering if my husband is safe, where he is and what danger is around the corner for him. Also, on the homefront, I wonder if I am doing everything I can for our kids, supporting my husband the best I can, and making sure that everything is taken care of properly stateside so Dave doesn't have to worry about it when he's deployed. But Psalm 23 offers the promise of a Shepherd who knows when those things may seem overwhelming and if I am willing to follow Him, He will give me peace. "He restores my soul (v3)" suggests forgiveness for those times when circumstances get the better of us and we stray away. When we come back to the fold, He is there to welcome us back and restore us. During a deployment, those left at home can't help but feel like they are walking through a "shadow of darkness (v4)." But we can walk boldly, confident that our Shepherd walks before us, guiding the way. We need not fear what is around the next corner because He is ever present, protecting, guiding, providing all along the path. We won't escape the shadow entirely but we can put one foot in front of the other, sure that no matter what this world holds "I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (v.6)."

Psalm 22

2008-09-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Phew!!! Would you be surprised to learn that my life has been a whirlwind lately? We've settled a little now. The marriage retreat to Niagara Falls is over (and what a trial that was - just kidding!), Our oldest has finished her first week of 1st grade, and our 3 year old starts preschool this week. And last but not least, illness has run it's course through the kids and everyone seems to be better. Yea for a chance to breathe!

Psalm 22
I am not so optimistic as to think that if I remember God is in control of every day and all the events of that day I will be happy and content. I am fully aware that there will be days during my husbands deployment when I will feel depressed, run down, alone, drained and exhausted. Those are times when this psalm will feel appropriate. "Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? (v.1)...I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted away within me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth...(v14-15)" Just as David does in this Psalm in verses 3-5, we can look to the past and see God's faithfulness and find comfort in the knowledge that even when we don't see it, God is answering us, He does hear our crying. What greater evidence of His immense love for us do we have than His sending His Son to die on the cross for us. The chapter is full of references to that time (still in the future for David). Christ quoted verse 1 on the cross. Verses 1-21 describe the intense emotional, physical, and mental suffering Christ would endure during His crucifixion. The lots cast for His clothes are referenced in verse 18. His nailing to the cross is in verse 16. I find reassurance in that God cared so much about our eternal security, He sent His own Son to die a most horrible death so He certainly cares about our every day life and the struggles we experience as we plod along. I find my job in verse 30 - "Future generations will be told about the Lord." I have a future generation at my feet - my three children. Just because times are tough during deployment does not give me leave to neglect their instruction in the Lord. If anything, it is the prime opportunity to teach them how to live like Christians and love their God, simply by my example. It will be as David shows us here - not a perfect, smooth ride, but an all trusting, small steps of faith kind of daily walk full of struggles and victories.

For all the moms...

2008-08-26T09:22:00.001-07:00

Here's the context: It's lunchtime and I am desperately trying to get the girls to calm down, focus, and eat. They were sitting at the dining room table and I was in the kitchen making my own lunch. How do you stop a fight like this?
6 year old: You're the best sister in the world.
3 year old: No, you're the best sister in the world.
6: No, YOU're the best sister in the world!
3: NO, YOU"RE THE BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD!!!!
6: I love you.
3: I love you more.
6: No, I love you more.
3: No, I love you more!
6: No! I love YOU MORE!!!
You get the picture. I just had to smile, enjoy the fact that at least the subject of their argument was how much they loved each other, and finally put a stop to the back and forth so they could eat their pizza before it got cold.

Psalm 21

2008-08-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

David wrote this psalm in the third person which made me stop several times to straighten out the subjects of the psalm. Ultimately, David must have written this after a battle victory and was praising God for granting the victory. It's a reminder to us to thank God for every day that passes and our loved ones are safe - particularly during deployment. Dave will be in the midst of physical battle but as I mentioned in the last post, more importantly, he will be in the midst of a spiritual battle - fighting for the souls of the soldiers. Verse 7 says "For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken." Literally, David is referring to himself and the fact that God granted him victory in battle and remained king because David trusted God and God loved David. I took it a little deeper than that superficial explanation. My husband trusts in the Lord, is confident that he is following God's will for his life even though it leads him straight into harm's way and because of that, I am confident that God will not let him be shaken until he has the victory God has purposed for him. It would be naive to think that he would be 100% safe every minute he is gone, but God loves him more than I could ever dream of loving him and He will not desert Dave for even one moment he is deployed. I don't know about you, but I find great comfort in that.
Verses 11-13 promise that while there are those who are evil and plot all manner of harm, ultimately they will not succeed. Granted, it may seem they are succeeding for a time but in the end we have the assurance that God will win. We often think of God as a protector and shield as He is often described in Psalms but here we are reminded of His strength. It's important to remember that God will not only protect us from those who plot against us, but also that He is stronger than them. Doesn't that give you comfort? No matter how strong the enemy, how formidable the situation, God is stronger and we must praise Him for it.

2008-08-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

I have a couple more anecdotes for you. Seems life is full of funny little things lately.
My oldest is 6 and is enjoying spending time outside getting to know the neighborhood kids. As can be expected when she has only had her younger sister and brother to play with for months, she and her new friends would have disagreements of arguments and she would come pouting back to the house claiming she had "broken up with her friends." Finally, her father and I had had enough of her getting pouty if things didn't go her way and I went to have a little talk with her after she had cooled down a little in her room. I tried to explain to her that just because she thinks the other girls are being mean, doesn't mean she should be mean back and that God didn't like her attitude. She said she didn't know how to respond to them and couldn't remember to be nice when something happened. I told her to pray and ask God to help her remember. That is when we had an "out of the mouths of babes" moment. She told me she couldn't hear God talk to her, "His voice is so tiny." I bit back a chuckle but still smiled at her comment. How true it is. When we are in the midst of conflict, it's very hard to hear God's voice. We have to calm down, get quiet and listen for Him. I was sure to tell her that even grownups have a hard time hearing God sometimes. That seemed to make her feel better and I am happy to say she is friends with all the little girls again.
Second anecdote - I took our oldest to register for 1st grade this week. While we were waiting for her to finish her testing, I was sitting with the other two kids in a lobby area. My 3 year old was sliding around on her stomach in a circle. Whenever she would get to me, she asked me to move. This is the conversation that ensued:
Daughter: "Mommy, can you move your butt?"
Me: Think of a nicer word for that.
D: Please?
Me: No, think of a nicer way to say that word.
D: Can you move your butt, please?
Me (as I lightly swatted her rear): What's a nicer word for this?
D: Booty! Can you move your booty, please?
I gave up, laughing.
Alright, hopefully you have had your laugh break and we can move on to today's Psalm study.
Psalm 20
This chapter reminded me of an old Irish proverb (may the road rise to meet you...) but it's actually a prayer from David as he prepares for battle. "May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you." I would hope that when others are praying for me during the deployment, it's that kind of prayer, and at the same time, I will be praying it for my husband and those deployed with him. While many of the descriptions in this chapter have little literal relevance to today, the concepts and the prayer remains: "May he send you help...grant you support...remember and accept...may he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed...May the Lord grant all your requests." In verse 6 you'll find the assurance that God saves His own. He doesn't abandon us to our battles whether physical or spiritual, mental or emotional. Recently I have been thinking about what my husband does. He's a soldier but he doesn't fight. At least, he doesn't carry a weapon, receives no weapon training. Then it came to me - he's not a soldier, he's a "soul"-dier. He is fighting for the souls of our soldiers. His weapon is the Bible and His protection is our God. Look at verse 7 - "Some trust in chariots and some in horses (this would be our soldiers) but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. (our chaplains along with all believers). Verse 8 promises that those who trust in the name of God will rise up and stand firm. I find great encouragement in these verses as we prepare to meet this challenge.

Psalm 19

2008-08-18T10:57:00.001-07:00

My hubby told me I had to put these little kid anecdotes in my blog or he was going to do it for me. I guess for the sake of remembering the good times, the funny times! It's so easy to get frustrated with them at this age so remembering the funny things they do helps.
So, our 3 year old doesn't give us much lead time when she has to go potty so when she says "I have to go potty!" we run for the nearest bathroom. This instance was no different. Once I got her in there, she's sitting on the potty - doing nothing. I asked if she really had to go and her reply (at the top of her voice) was "I DO have to go potty. I have to go poo-poo. Poo-poo takes a really, really, really, really, really, really long time to get out. Maybe it's stuck to my butt. (significant pause then PLOP!) Nope, it's not stuck to my butt anymore. I'm done." I nearly fell on the floor laughing.
Later, we were in the car and were talking about someone we know who is going to have a baby. That got us to talking about names for babies. Our 6 year old said when she has a baby, if it's a girl she will name it Mia and if it's a boy she would name it Caleb. Then our little 3 year old pipes up with her cute little girl voice and says "when I have a baby in my tummy, if it's a boy, I will name him Mr. Seal." (that's her sister's stuffed animal that was actually passed down from my husband)
Now for the Psalm study. We are up to Psalm 19. I have always loved taking walks in fields, forests, anywhere I can be surrounded by what God has created. I am just amazed at the detail God put into it. I think it shows how much He loves us and too often we don't pay it any mind. Psalm 19 draws a beautiful picture of that creation God gave us and through it all God is glorified. I love to go on walks and just meditate on favorite verses, give praise to God for what He has done, and really just refocus. I have found I have had some of my best times with God when I have simply been out for a walk. Look at verses 7-9 "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous." My walks prove the truth in these words to me. After thinking on God's laws and promises, I always feel revived, refreshed, joyful and sure. Sure that no matter what, God's word rings true, lights my path, and leads me where I need to be. My hope for the deployment days is that I won't lose sight of God's glory all around me - that in those days when I am sad or lonely or overwhelmed, I don't forget to look around me, notice that His love for me is written on every leaf, can be heard in every bird's chirp, felt in the warmth of the sun's rays, smelled in a simple flower's petals. Try it for yourself. Look for God in His creation and feel awed.
I'll end with the final verse of the chapter: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, My Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 18

2008-08-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

Be prepared - this is a long chapter with some great stuff in it!! As a side note, when my husband gathered a small group of people in our home church to start work on a new ministry about 2 years ago, they named it 1830 and used Psalm 18:30 as their verse. I thought it was worth noting and giving a shout out to all my 1830 readers since we are now at that chapter!
Four times God is called "rock" (v.2, 31, 46), and 3 times he is referred to as a shield or fortress where we can feel safe and protected (v.2, 30). I loved reading this chapter. The pictures that came to mind were so encouraging that while I still dread the deployment, I'm actually excited to see how God is going to show Himself to me during that time. I think I am going to tackle this chapter verse by verse, skimming some, commenting more on others.

1-I hope that throughout this deployment I can daily join David in saying "I Love you , O Lord, my strength." Notice, the Lord is my (your) strength. There's no other way to make it successfully through every day but by HIS strength.

2-Here's where I can see a great description of all God can be to me, now and most certainly during the deployment - rock, fortress, deliverer, shield, stronghold. Don't you feel safe, protected, loved just picturing all those?

3-6 - When all seems hopeless, when I am helpless, I call to God and He hears. I love the way it is worded at the end of verse 6 "my cry came before him, into his ears." When I imagine the torrent of pleas and requests God must hear every day, I love the assurance here that He still hears my prayers. Whatever my prayers will be when Dave is gone, God hears them. And I love what happens next in the chapter...

7-15 - Since I am not writing a Bible here, go read it for yourself and close your eyes and picture a God who loves you so much He reacts so swiftly, so surely, so mightily when you are in trouble. The earth trembling, the shaking, fire, hailstones, lightning, the angels, rainclouds, wings of the wind, blast of breath from his nostrils all descriptions David used to paint a picture as "The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded."

16-19 - David's description continues to paint the amazing picture from the preceding verses but I wanted to pick them out because I see a distinct application to the coming year for me. Verse 16 says "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters." The deep waters here I see as troubles and what more troubled time will I have then trying to keep a marriage strong over a very long distance and uncertain means of communication and the course of a whole year? How hard will life be as I try to carry on life as normal as possible, raising three young children while their daddy is gone? I can't help but feel like even now it is closing in on me, and then I read the last part of verse 18 and the first part of 19 - "...But the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place..." The Lord is my support, not myself, my kids, my family, my husband, my friends, but the Lord! Yes, all those other people are an important part and surely God's hands and feet, but ultimately, it is God who will get me through. The spacious place He brings me to is not a place necessarily free from trouble, but perhaps they are not so choking, not so overbearing, overwhelming. And He will be there with me to help me deal with those troubles.

20-29 - While David wrote these verses as a description of the kind of man he was and how God dealt with him accordingly, I see a gentle reminder here that we should strive to be that kind of person too. Granted, David wasn't perfect nor can we ever hope to be perfect but we can try and will be rewarded accordingly. I can't leave these verses without noting verse 28 - "my God turns my darkness into light." Perhaps this is where I got a little bit of that excitement I mentioned at the start of this. Certainly the coming deployment is going to be a "darkness" but I grab hold of a promise I see in that verse that God is going to turn it to light and I can't wait to see how that happens!

30-45- Yikes, a lot of verses and so much I could say! I'll try to keep it short and sweet. First we are reminded of who God is then that God is a shield, a refuge, a rock. He lends me His strength, by his right hand I persevere. Do you see this? It's not a promise that things will be easy but that He will help me through! He will give me what I need to accomplish whatever is set before me and be beside me every step of the way.

46-50 - After all that I was pleased to see David say "The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Saviour!" in verse 46. When you take in all that is encompassed in the preceding verses, when you get the picture in your mind of that God and His infinite love for you, your soul can't help but join David in that praise.

Well, if you stuck with me through all these verse, thank you and I hope God spoke to your heart and you were encouraged. As for me, I look forward to being reminded of this at just the right time during Dave's deployment when I go back and reread all these posts. Now, the baby is up and crying so I must go back to my motherly duties!! :-)

Psalm 17

2008-07-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

Wow, you know what they say about best laid plans! Our littlest one (now 21 months old) is running circles around me. I'll admit to being a little paranoid about our floors in this house because I don't want to be responsible for paying for new carpet or linoleum when we leave and with it all being your standard apartment beige/tan/ivory/off white, it show all kinds of stuff.

So, here's what has happened - in just a matter of two days. First, he got up from his nap and came down the stairs on his diapered butt which he has learned to do for safety's sake. Anyway, apparently he had deposited quite a load in his diaper before he came down and with each plop down on the stairs, he squished a little out onto the carpeted stairs. Yikes! I grabbed the carpet spray and the roll of paper towels and started cleaning. In the meantime, my 3 year old discovered she could reach the freshly baked brownies on the kitchen counter and started grabbing fistfuls out of the pan and stuffing her face. In an effort to avoid being caught, she would hide in the dining room where I found chocolate brownie pieces ground into the carpet when I was done scrubbing the stairs. So, I set to work cleaning that up. During this time, same child decides she has to go potty only she doesn't make it to the potty and I have to get a different cleaner and start cleaning the bathroom floor. Unfortunately, I neglected to put away the carpet cleaner and baby boy sprayed himself in the face with it. You should have heard the screaming when I was holding him over the sink, pulling his eye open and dumping water over it. The rest of the day seems to go much smoother until I take a load of laundry upstairs. I come back down to the smell of permanent marker in the air and the sight of thick black circles all over the linoleum in the entryway. Frantic, I book into the living room to discover baby boy with a large sharpie in hand, drawing on the carpet with black marks all over his face, leading up his nose, as well as in his diaper!!! You can imagine my distress. I grab the spray cleaner again and scrub the carpet marks which mostly came up. I think I see them because I know where they are. Then I set to scrubbing the entryway with powdered clorox cleaner with bleach. A couple of hours later I have rid the floor of three of his four works of art when my husband walks in. I'm exhausted, my arms and shoulders ache from all the scrubbing, I'm sweaty and frustrated. My husband offers to tackle the last piece of artwork while I take baby up for a bath (which is when I discovered he had also stuck the marker down his diaper!). Bath finished, I come back downstairs and take back the duty of scrubbing the floor. Yea! I got it all up and collapsed into bed a couple of hours later. The next days seemed to go much better until I ran upstairs with another load of laundry (I knew laundry was no good!!). Apparently I had forgotten to take the clorox back upstairs in my exhaustion the night before and baby boy decided it would be fun to play snow storm. He was covered from head to toe in the white powder which led to another scream fit as I washed out his other eye (thank God neither cleaner incident resulted in actual damage to his eyes!). Then, I started to vacuum up all the powder - at which time I discovered he had also colored all over the vacuum the night before with sharpie. That became no big deal when I discovered the clorox had bleached the carpet everywhere he had piled it. I think I did a pretty good job of getting it all to blend in though especially when you consider how there are different tones in the color of the carpet depending on which way it's been brushed, vacuumed, stepped on, etc. All said, I've decided since we have only been here a month and we still have 2-3 years here that the cost of new carpet is almost an inevitability.
Now, my mom is visiting, adding an extra set of hands which was much needed last night when baby boy woke up in the middle of the night throwing up all over his new big boy bed and clothes. We had just celebrated my 30th birthday and I then got to stay up almost all night with him while he was throwing up every 20 or so minutes for a couple of hours. I did get to sleep in this morning since my mom kept the kids entertained. So now, two children are sound asleep while the third is happily watching disney channel so we have a chance to explore Psalm 17.
In light of the just explained recent events in my hours, verse 6 jumped out at me first: " I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer." It jumped out because I remember thinking during all those Cinderella floor scrubbing moments, 'how am I going to do this without Dave for a whole year????' There was my answer. Even for those little everyday occurrences when all I have time for is a silent plea for patience and composure, God hears me and the best part is that He will answer!
I love the way David can paint a picture that provides such comfort in trying times. One of my favorite examples of that is in verse 8 "hide me in the shadow of your wings." Just close your eyes and picture that: God's all encompassing wings, spread over all His children, providing protection from all that assails us just as a mother bird protects her babies. Granted, just because her wings cover her babies doesn't guarantee they won't get wet in the rain or their fine feathers ruffled a little by a strong wind, but it is a layer of protection against the harshest of elements. That's just what hiding in the shadow of God's wings is for us. It's not a bubble where nothing will touch us but, in the case of God's protection of His children, it's a layer of protection that only allows through what He has allowed to touch us. And as we press on through adversity and the storms in our life, always keeping God before us, always hiding in the shadow of His wings, we have the promise of verse 15 "In righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness."

Psalm 16

2008-07-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Verse 1 :"Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge." Isn't that what so many soldiers pray when they face battle? A soldiers prayer straight from today's Psalm study, to be sure. I am sure in my prayers for them I will take the liberty of changing some words and say "Keep them safe, O God, for in you they take refuge."

There is a lot I could find to say from this chapter but I want to focus on the end - verses
8, 9, and 11. "I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at you right hand."
I will not be shaken. I like the picture that brings to mind. I'm standing firm, facing all life brings with me, but with God beside me, no wind will sway me, no storm will tear me down, no quakes will shake me. I cling to that, knowing the most difficult days are coming. It doesn't stop there though. David continues by saying he is glad. I'd have to agree. Knowing who we have on our side, facing life's challenges with us, how can we help but be glad and rejoice in His presence.

It's the next phrase I want to focus on the most. I don't think it would have meant much to me except that it happened to be quoted by Peter in the passage our pastor talked about in Sunday's message. The translation from the Hebrew in the Old Testament is "my body also will rest secure." The translation from Greek in Acts is "my body also will live in hope." Initially, I read this in Psalms and I immediately thought of physical rest, feeling safe even. When I came across the New Testament translation of this same verse, it added a new level of understanding for me. Not only do I see a promise of physical rest and a sense of safety in "rest secure", but also an emotional and spiritual renewal in "live in hope." It gives me the feeling of persevering both physically and mentally during the difficult times all because God is at my right hand! It's an inside kind of thing, largely unrelated to outward circumstances but directly affecting them. This leads me to the last verse. I can be joyful because I know what the end all is. As one of God's children, I have the promise of a lifetime in His presence, drawing on His strength, and an eternity with Him. What greater joy?

Psalm 15

2008-07-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, here was another chapter that at first read didn't seem to have anything in it to encourage me during the year Dave is gone. Determined to see what God would have me see in this chapter, I read it again. In truth, it's the whole chapter that holds the encouragement and reminder I will need during that time. Verse one asks the question who can dwell in God's sanctuary. That is, who can be where God is? The following verses describe that very person. When Dave is deployed, I want to be as close to God as I can possibly be, constantly dwelling on His holy hill. To do that, I have to be like the one described in those 5 verses. In a nutshell, there are 10 standards to keep in mind.
1. A blameless walk (v.2)
2. Do what is right (v.2)
3. Speak truthfully. (v. 2)
4. No slander (v.3)
5. Treat neighbors right. (v.3)
6. Refuse to slander (v. 3)
7. Despise the evil man and honor those who follow God (v.4)
8. Keep promises (v. 4)
9. Share resources without expectation of gain (v. 5)
10. Be fair to those with less. (v. 5)
It's a tall order but the promise at the end makes it a worthwhile endeavor - "He who does these things will never be shaken." That's what I want when I am the only one the children have to show them what faith and trust in God looks like. No matter what the days bring, I don't want my faith to be shaken. So I will plant my knees on God's holy hill and strive to be the person worthy of dwelling in God's sanctuary.

Psalm 14

2008-07-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm back! I read this chapter weeks ago and as I came back to re-read it before blogging about it, I was worried I wouldn't find anything that pertained to what I seem focused on in this study - deployment and army life. David is essentially talking about atheists and those who work against God. I read the chapter over and over and then verse 2 jumped out at me. It's not speaking directly to my feelings on the looming deployment but it certainly applies to that time, as well as every other time. I quote: "The Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." In this chapter about evildoers is a reminder that God is always watching. Is my faith the same in secret as I proclaim it to be when I am with other Christians? Do my actions and my words line up? When He looks down on me, will He see someone actively seeking Him? After these questions ran through my mind, I saw verse 5 - "...God is present in the company of the righteous." Perhaps there is something here for me. God is always watching and He is always with me...and with my husband, even if we are an ocean apart. I can take comfort in that.

Before I close, I am including a few pictures from our time away. Enjoy!

Daddy plays with the kids in their own personal ocean:

Three kids with Daddy and Poppop at the shore in NJ

Oldest daughter

Middle daughter:

And one very tired little boy!

Fourth of July

2008-07-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

10 years ago, under the fireworks in my hometown of Culpeper, Va, my then boyfriend proposed to me. Of course, the fireworks became the least exciting part of the night. I could have never imagined what our life together would hold. If someone had told me that 10 years later I would be shoulder deep in army life, I would have said they were crazy - my guy had already tested the military waters when he attended a military academy out of high school and realized that was not where God wanted him. My guy was studying for the safe and comfortable pastor role. We might move around a little as he changed jobs, but having been raised in church and Christian schools, my world would remain a safe little bubble. Hhmmm...God had other plans. I enjoyed being a pastor's wife for the season it was our life, but I am finding myself constantly surprised at how God has prepared my heart for the life He has lead us into. It's not easy, it's not safe, it's not comfortable, and it is certainly not a Christian bubble anymore, but it is so much better!!!! I've had more connections and made more friends than I ever imagined - some of whom I have never met face to face - and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Since it is highly likely that an ocean will separate us for our 10th wedding anniversary, we enjoyed a little alone time as we remembered that special night 10 years ago when we got engaged. On July 3 we went as a family to see fireworks with my husbands parents but on July 4th, they watched the kids and we went out to see fireworks by ourselves. We had our chairs all set up when it started to rain. We got back in our van but we still had a perfect parking spot because they set off the fireworks right in front of us! It was a really nice time but it held a new sort of relevance to me. It was a little more sobering to remember why we are celebrating and what sacrifices are being made today by soldiers and their families to ensure our freedom and safety - and even how we'll be making a small part of that sacrifice ourselves next year.
So, it's not enough, but thank you to all the soldiers, all the families, and all the loved ones!!!!

FYI

2008-07-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

Just a note to anyone who wonders if I have fallen off the planet...

Soon after I posted last, we started moving into our new house - transferring our stuff from the apartment off post to the house on post. Then a week ago Monday the movers delivered our stuff from storage. That night my sister and her fiance arrived to drive with me and the kids back to Virginia Tuesday morning. I was in Virginia with my family for my sisters wedding (last Saturday) until yesterday when we made the trip back up to New Jersey. I didn't have time to update my posts while we were moving, couldn't get on the site using my parents dial up connection all last week, and now we are focusing on family fun and vacation stuff. So when I return to New York after the 2 week block leave is over, and in between unpacking the bazillion boxes stuffing our house, I will return to my Psalms study, at one a day. I have been reading in Proverbs in the meantime - good stuff there too!

Thank you to everyone who prayed for our housing situation. The house is very nice and seems to be a great neighborhood. Our daughters even went to a birthday party the Saturday before the movers came. It looks like we'll enjoy our time there.

Some Psalms

2008-06-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Psalm 10 - As I read this chapter nothing encouraging was jumping out at me. I just kept thinking that if I were to read this during the deployment, I might see the insurgents as the subject of the laments but what was going to encourage me? Then I got to the last three verses. Verse 16 starts with "The Lord is King for ever and ever." That's it! No matter what evil there is in the world, and what trials we face, the Lord is King for ever and ever!!! Verse 17 follows with encouragement - "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry." As a parent, I know how easy it is to hear my children without really listening to them. This verse holds the assurance that God hears, really hears, my cries and He will encourage me.

Psalm 11 - I don't even know what verses to pick out of this chapter. The whole thing is relevant in my opinion. It's short, a mere 7 verses, but worth your time to stop and read if you are in a turbulent time in your life - like for those of us who are army wives and facing the reality that deployments are inevitable! The gist of the chapter is that no matter how shaky things are, no matter how unsure, God is greater than it all. Here are just a few phrases from the chapter that support that point - "In the Lord I take refuge (V.1)...The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord is on his heavenly throne(v.4)...For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; upright men will see his face. (V.7)." If you look into this chapter, it's full of timely implications for us. We had a choice to join the army, knowing full well we were in the middle of a war and that Dave would be sent into dangerous situations. Some would wonder why we would run into that, instead of running away. My answer is that we are running to God and whatever we go through to get to Him is just something we have to do. God sees the evil, those set against us (in this case, more as a country than ourselves individually), seeking to do us harm. He takes it all in and He will have the last say. In the end we have the greatest reward - we will see His face!

Psalm 12 - I know I said I was only going to do 2 chapters per post but I fell behind. Dave had to go do a funeral several hours away and had to be gone overnight so he had our internet card. Before that, we were in the middle of a heat wave and I wasn't doing anything I didn't absolutely have to do. 90+ degrees outside, humid, no air conditioning, and an apartment with only a door and one window in the non bedroom area proved to be enough to turn us into sweltering blobs on the couch when we weren't walking around the mall for hours on the end just for the air conditioning!! So here goes...
Just one verse here I want to comment on. The chapter itself is about liars and those who deceive but verse 6, even out of this context, rings true. "The words of the Lord are flawless..." The verse holds so much encouragement. As I think about the struggles and the hardships that a year long deployment holds for me, for my family, I can rely on the promise in that verse. There is no measure of deceit in God's word, no dishonesty, no double talk - just the truth that no promise will go unfulfilled, the knowledge that God will sustain us through it all.

Psalm 13 - Last one for today, I promise! When I read this chapter, I could feel the despair that David had to be feeling when he wrote it and I could feel it echoed in my own heart. As I think about the deployment, I find that I am susceptible to giving the enemy a foothold in my heart, leading to depression, unbearable sadness. That's what I saw in David's words in verse 2 - "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" If you are honest, any of you who have faced this same thing would have to admit you have struggled with this same feeling. But, look at David's words again, just a couple verses later (v. 5-6) "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." He's flip-flopped from despair to rejoicing. That's what happens when we take the foothold away from our enemy and relish in our relationship with God, His love and His word, remembering all the good we have because of Him. Now, I am not saying that the sadness goes away entirely. It's unrealistic to think that a prolonged separation from someone we share a life with will not be difficult, but if we focus on the fact that God loves us more than we could possibly love another person, we can't help but be filled with rejoicing.

Psalm 8 and 9

2008-06-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Psalm 8
This is a very familiar Psalm to me. When I first read it I thought it didn't really have anything to say to me relating to our current situation but then I read it again, more slowly and thoughtfully. Not every Psalm will speak directly to the loss I will feel when my husband deploys, or the protection God offers us all. I say "directly" because I found that thought in the verses, just under the surface. First I found a reminder to praise God. Particularly, I have always loved looking at the world through my kids eyes and seeing God's creation fresh and innocent. When Dave deploys, it will be hard to be happy but I think if I look to my kids, I'll find the joy in simple things. After all, verse 2 says "From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." When they pray at night, I am sure they will thank God for the little things in their day as they do now. God is often praised for the trees and the seeds that bring flowers and the sun and other overlooked things in my day that my kids don't overlook. I hope that their simple prayers will be a reminder that God is majestic and that He cares for me. He gave all creation to us - to me - to remind me that He finds value in me. And because He values us so highly, He will protect us and carry us through hard times. I hope that during those hard days, I will be able to look at all the good things God has given me and join David in saying "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

Psalm 9
This Psalm starts with praise to God - something I will need to remember when all my prayers turn to pleading for strength, understanding, help to get through the day. What jumped out at me the most as I read these verses was the description David gave of the Lord when we cry for help.
~v 7 - "The Lord reigns forever"
~v 9 - "The Lord is...a stronghold in times of trouble."
~v10 - "You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."
It's comforting to remember that the Lord is forever on His throne and that nothing escapes Him. I can seek him in times of trouble and He will be there, He will hear me, and He will stay there.
One other thing jumped out at me. In verse 13 David asks God for help. It doesn't stop with his plea for help though. It's followed by verse 14 where we see that David does not ask for help so that he can look good or win a fight but instead so that God's glory will be seen. That's what I hope and pray will be my attitude too. When we are all going through the struggles associated with deployment, I hope that my attitude will reflect my faith in Jesus so that He can be glorified and people will see Him through me. I will seek His face, praying for help and strength but not so that I can look like some amazing, strong army wife and mother, but so that people - my children, family, neighbors, fellow army wives - will see God!

Psalm 6 and 7

2008-06-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

At this rate I should cover 7 chapters per post! Don't worry, I'll stick to two for now.

Psalm 6

Just 10 verses long but some very appropriate verses especially for those of us who are army wives. In context of my life, as we slowly get more information on the upcoming deployment, I find each little tidbit both comforting as it answers a question and distressing, even agonizing, as it makes everything a bit more real. That is why verses 3, 6, and 9 stood out to me when I read this chapter. "My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?...I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears...The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer." For me, it's always the time leading up to when my husband is going to be leaving for any amount of time that is the worst. After he is gone, I pick myself up and plug along. It's never as bad as I fear it will be. Granted, deployment is going to be drastically longer then any other separation we have ever had. Before this, the longest time we have spent apart was when we were engaged - 10 years ago! And then it was only a month or 6 weeks. I have not flooded my bed with weeping or drenched the couch with tears...yet. I know that is coming and I take some comfort in the confidence I have that God hears my cries, knows my distress and that He is there with me every step.

Psalm 7

Again, I find myself taking verses out of the context David wrote them in but they echo the cry of my heart and so I find them appropriate. "O Lord my God, I take refuge in you. (v1)" What better place to go when I am scared, distressed, worried, anxious than to the ultimate refuge? As soon as I read verses 9-10 I thought of what is going on in Iraq and what my prayer will be when my husband is there. "O righteous God, who searches minds and hearts, bring to an end the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure. My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart." I don't need to say anymore about that. Finally, as we seek to follow God in this very trying time, I hope that I will be able to join with David as he says in verse 17 "I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High."

I want to add a couple things from our weekend at our home church in New Jersey. We went back for their missions conference and one of the speakers at the ladies luncheon was a missionary to Japan. She shared with us the verse that she had read years ago which was the reason she decided to return to Japan. She quoted Proverbs 24:11 - "rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter." As soon as she said those words, I knew they also applied to my husbands work in a two fold way. It spoke to both the physical need that these soldiers will face every day as they are deployed and doing their jobs, and it also spoke to their very real, yet not often realized, spiritual need. I looked up the verse to see the passage surrounding it and found those verses also pertinent. Verse 10 is a reminder to continue growing in God, getting stronger in faith - "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" I hope to remember when I feel myself faltering, stumbling, that I need to refocus my mind on God and seek His strength. Verse 12 is also a reminder, this time of the fact that God is in control of everything - "If you say, "but we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it?..." It's simple, really - GOD KNOWS! Those two words say it all.
The other thing I wanted to share came from a book put together by a teenager in our church and her friend. It's called the Uganda Hope Book and all proceeds go to help those people in Uganda who desperately need it. If you are interested, you can find it at blurb.com. Just a note - there are some incredible pictures in this book, taken by the girl we know, and some very interesting, even heart wrenching, facts. That said, as I was scanning the book, one quote they included jumped out at me. It's by Stasi Eldredge and it follows - "Security is not found in the absence of danger, but in the presence of Jesus." It spoke straight to my heart when I read it. My husband is no more secure here where he can get hit by a car or struck my lightning then he is down range - so long as he has Jesus!

And now I am done! :-)

Psalm 4 and 5

2008-05-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have to play a little catch up. We went to my in laws for Memorial Day weekend and left the girls with them so I just have out 19 month old. I have spent this week running around like a crazy person trying to do all the things that are easier done with one child versus three - like baking a sample cake for my sisters wedding just to make sure I had everything I needed and that it would, in fact, work. So, I am going to cover 2 chapters of Psalms for the next couple of posts just so I can catch up to myself.

Psalm 4 -
There were several things that stood out to me in reading this chapter and it started with verse 1. It is the prayer of my heart when I start thinking and praying about deployment - "Answer me when I call to you...Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." I got the answer to that prayer in verse 3 - "the Lord will hear when I call to him." What more reassurance do I need? I cry out in my distress, knowing the situation itself will not change, and I am certain the Lord hears me and will hold me up. Verses 6-7 provide a little hope, a little joy, lightening my spirits a little as I imagine it happening - "Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound." I take that last sentence as a promise. Yes, life might have seemed less stressful, maybe even more happy, if we hadn't joined the army but stayed in our comfortable pastor life but if I am honest, we have already seen greater joy in this different, harder, life. As it becomes more difficult, I will hold onto a promise of greater joy found in following God's will. Finally, I read verse 8 the second day Dave was in the field - looking forward to another night without him - "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Granted, all the soldiers came back a day early so Dave was home that night but when I read this verse, I didn't know that. I thought it was no chance of circumstance that the two nights I thought I would be alone with the kids, were two chapters that spoke of peace in sleep because God is the greatest protector. I know I will cling to that for both myself and Dave when the time comes for deployment. God's wings of shelter are big enough for both of us - even oceans apart.

Still with me? I know it's a lot but I am doing this mostly for me - both now and to look back on in a few months.

Psalm 5 - Again David is crying out to God and I liked verse 3 - "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and WAIT IN EXPECTATION." I love that last phrase. So may times I lay out my requests, my pleas, my yearnings before God but do I wait in expectation? Do I lay out those things, knowing God will answer and I just have to wait and listen? What a reminder! And, when we lay those things out first thing in the morning, purpose in our hearts and minds to listen and wait for an answer, doesn't it focus us more on God all day? Don't we look for those answers throughout our daily life? Following that is a series of verses about evildoers - "You are not a God who takes pleasure in evil...you hate all who do wrong...declare them guilty, O God...Let their intrigues be their downfall." I think of our brave soldiers, risking their lives to fight evildoers and then I read verses 11 and 12 - "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." I know probably the vast majority of our soldiers do not know God, nor take refuge in Him but that makes my husbands job even more important! I can watch him go to war, confident that he already has that protection - that he walks around with God as his shield - what better shield is there? He needs to be there to share that protection with the soldiers, to tell them that God loves them, cares for them, and that no matter what happens to them, if they are His children, He will carry them in His hands and nothing will happen outside of His control! I am sure when he does deploy, my prayers will sometimes seem like a mantra - "Spread your protection over them, surround them with your favor as a shield."

I have a feeling that regardless of what other devotion times hold when Dave is deployed, there will always be a little bit of the Psalms. It seems so perfectly fitting for this stage in our life and for what he will be doing and what I will be going through.

Psalm 3

2008-05-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

Erin - Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! Thanks for sharing the verses you have found too. Great ones! I have noticed a theme too - God is in control and we should take everything to Him with praise for His answers, whatever they are!

When I read this chapter I found that I had previously underlined verses 3-4. I don't know what the circumstances were when I last read that, but I know they have changed yet the verses still speak to me. "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill." God is my shield (and my husbands) when I am afraid and He lifts my head when I feel beaten down and discouraged. I can take my fears and concerns to Him and He WILL answer me. It's verse 5 that really jumped out at me this time though. "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me." Those of you who are married probably know how difficult it can be to sleep when your spouse is not there, even more so if they are a great distance away and you have no idea how they are. That will be even more true for me when Dave deploys and I will have no idea what is going on at any particular moment. But as the previous verse said, God answers my prayers and I can sleep peacefully in the full confidence that God is in control. I just have to remember when that time comes and sleep is difficult, to take it to the Lord, gaining peace as I am reminded that God is in control of all the circumstances and while I can not be by my husbands side, God is there beside both of us.

That brings me to what I have been considering since I first started reading and blogging about Psalms. I hope to finish this before Dave deploys and then be able to come back and read the promises I found and the assurances God gives. I hope it will help give me the strength I will need to get through those days.

Dave's in the field this week. I'm nervous as this is the first time I've been alone in our apartment overnight with the kids. I've always felt safe here before but when Dave is gone I always here noises I didn't hear before. Guess I have to remind myself of today's Psalm as I am trying to fall asleep even tonight!

Our oldest had her AWANA awards ceremony Sunday night. It was her first year of Sparks (Kindergarten) and she finished her book, reviewed the whole thing, did the extra pages, then finished the extra handbook. After last week, she only had two verses left - which she knew but didn't feel like saying to her teacher - so we didn't know if she would get her handbook pin. Well, because we moved after she finished her first book, they didn't know here that she hadn't received her first book ribbon so I had to go ask for one since other kids got it and she wouldn't have understood why she didn't get one. Then, at the dinner after the ceremony, we were sitting with her teacher and she asked if our daughter knew her verses. She said them and the teacher went to find her a pin. She knew how hard our girl had worked and thought she deserved the credit. I was so proud of her! She can recite John 1:1-4, all the books of the New Testament, her pledges, AWANA songs, and many, many verses. She's anxious to start back in the fall and keep learning. She also had her birthday party on Sunday. The girls all looked so adorable in their princess dresses and had a blast making suncatchers, sand art necklaces, crowns and wands, eating Tinkerbell cake, grabbing goodies from a pinata, going on a treasure hunt and playing games using a princess party DVD.
Our youngest is talking up a storm. He speaks in phrases and sentences now. "I want candy" is a favorite as is "No, No, No!!" If I am sitting on the couch and he wants juice, he has taken to coming over to me, pulling on my arm and saying "Up, Up, Up...I want juice" which sounds like "I wah jew."
I think our middle child is acting out. The moving is getting to her. She was potty trained but I am about ready to put her back in pull ups. When we are out and about, she does great, no accidents but when we are home, she always goes potty on the floor! The strangest part is that it's always in the bathroom that she does it! At least it's easier to clean up. Also, she has started having accidents at night. She'd been staying dry at night even before we started potty training so it's been at least 6 months! I am at a loss for what to do. I don't want to go back to pull ups but I don't want to constantly be cleaning up the floor and washing clothes and linens - especially since we don't have a washer/dryer in our building!
So that's our life now. Hope you enjoyed! :-)

Psalm 2 (and the MP dining out)

2008-05-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

When I first read Psalm 2, I knew exactly what I wanted to comment on but then I thought I couldn't skip straight to the last verse - there must be something more to glean. So when I reread and meditated on the words of this passage, it hit me. We often worry about the future, stress about deployments and we pray for peace and strength. All those thoughts, concerns and worries form a haze over one VERY important thing. God in heaven is ultimately in control and He sits in heaven, laughing at the grand plots and schemes evil rulers make, thinking they can win against the ultimate Ruler. We may not understand it, things may not be perfect, but God is still on His throne! He will win! He will provide - "Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession. (v.8)" We are to seek His face first and dwell in His will. Those who war against Him, those who plot and conspire evil will be broken as "The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them. (v.4)" God never loses sight of the fact that He is the ultimate Ruler of ALL and we shouldn't either. In closing, remember to submit to Him, trust Him, serve Him, go to Him with everything because He tells us in verse 12 "blessed are all who take refuge in him." That's the verse that first jumped out at me. When I get to worrying about my husband deploying, I can hide in the shelter of His wings and I know that Dave will be sheltered by those same wings. I can go to Him with everything and trust that He will rise above all the trouble and overcome all evil. He is King!!

Last night was the MP dining out. I actually enjoyed it. I wasn't sure at first. I thought it could get boring sitting through speeches, etc. We were at table 1 and I was the only civilian though there was one other woman at the table. Our main speaker was actually very good - and brief. He reminded the soldiers of their duty and honored the silent ranks - the families of the soldiers. The cutting of the cake was cool. It was the first time I had seen a cake cut with a saber. Our emcee got choked up when he was explaining the symbolism of the table set for one in honor of the fallen comrades. It was touching. When all was said and done, Dave gave the benediction and the fun began. The lights dimmed and the DJ started the music. I got a huge kick out of seeing the soldiers cut loose on the dance floor. We joined them for a slow dance (the second in 9 years!). The FRG leader who I have met just twice, buddied up to me, stealing me away from Dave several times, including the mandatory group trip to the bathroom! :-) I had a good time but I was glad to get home and put on comfy clothes!

Psalm 1

2008-05-14T10:45:00.001-07:00

*****Disclaimer*****
While I took hermeneutics in college, I am not claiming that these insights of mine are hermeneutically sound. By that I mean I am not always going to take into consideration the context, setting, original language study and word comparisons. Of course, sometimes, the thoughts I have might get me a passing grade from Dr. Layman, but I believe that God is not limited by those laws. I believe that He might use a verse that in relation to the surrounding passage may mean nothing to me, but on it's own speaks to my heart, to my situation. So, that said, I am starting at the very beginning. Join me and feel free to share your thoughts too!

Psalm 1 is one of the passages I have had memorized since I was a child. It's one of the blessings of being raised in a strong Christian family and going to Christian school - but it's also one of the downfalls. Too often the Bible became a textbook and what a struggle it is sometimes to pull it out of that niche and realize it's God's love letter to me, how He speaks to my heart and shows me what is best for me.

Psalm 1:2 speaks to that perfectly! If I want to know God and apply his laws to my life everyday I must first start by knowing it - or as the verse says "meditate day and night." What better place to start? To know Him, I have to know His word. To know His word, I have to make time to meditate on it. In doing that, I grow closer to Him and in turn, am blessed.

Finally, Psalm 1:6 jumped out at me as I look to the future deployment of my husband and wonder at all that year has in store for us. "For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish." That, simply, is my prayer - that God will watch over our way - guide us and protect us as my husband seeks to show Jesus' love in a very dark place to people who desperately need it and as I remain home, teaching and nurturing our children in the way of the Lord.

It's funny how that sort of plays into something our pastor reminded me of on Sunday. It was Mother's Day and he wanted a fresh mother's day message. Using 2 Kings 4, he preached on the Shunammite woman and her hospitality and service and later how that was rewarded (look it up - the story concludes later in chapter 8). Anyway, as an example at one point, he mentioned Susannah Wesley, mother to John and Charles Wesley, and many other children. As a young teenager I remember reading her biography and being struck by her determination to raise her children to love God. She took time every day to speak to EACH of her children (I think she had 19 total though not all survived into adulthood). Very few people know about her, about her dedication, her faith, her struggles and her prayers, but many people have heard of two of her sons - John and Charles - and so many more will be touched by their legacy which lives on. Even as a teenager, I remember wanting to be like her one day. I knew I would never be an up front, outspoken kind of person, but if I could raise me children with the faith that she did, then I had accomplished much. Now I am in the midst of that and hope that I can persevere.

In other news, our oldest turns six tomorrow. Since we have the MP ball, we are going out to her favorite restaurant tonight (Friendlys) and we are having a little birthday party with 3 friends on Sunday afternoon. Yea! I was able to pull something together.
I also joined the local YMCA - I know, on post gym is free but I am not driving ALL the way out to post every day when the Y is not even 2 minutes down the road and they have free childcare too. So far, I'm enjoying it.
And that is all for now... Have a wonderful day.

Out of the hotel....

2008-05-07T17:46:00.000-07:00

But before you get excited, we don't have our on post housing yet. We just finally bit the bullet and found a furnished apartment off post. It's 2 bedrooms so all the kids are sharing a room but we have a kitchen!!! I actually cooked dinner for us for the first time in weeks! It was simply pasta but the kids loved sitting at the table eating pasta and playing board games when we were done. I am looking forward to doing some baking soon too. We are still in the same place on the waiting list - 2nd for first available. Keep praying.
I am now trying to find a babysitter for the kids for the night of the MP ball on the 15th. It's a hard thing to do when you are new to the area. I have one lead who has come with great recommendations. Hopefully she'll work out. If not it's back to square one and time is getting short. Sadly, that day is also our oldest 6th birthday. I'm trying to pull some kind of little party together for her with the couple of girls we have met her age. Since birthdays are such a big deal in my family and I have thrown such blowouts for her in the past, I feel like I have to come up with something. Our "homelessness" shouldn't interfere with that. I'm actually looking forward to planning it.
Recently my time in the Word has been spastic at best. By that I mean I didn't have a plan, I wasn't following a course. I found myself just going to familiar passages, seeing how their meanings had changed for me in light of this new path. But in the last few days, I have found the Psalms to be my place of choice. I guess since David wrote so many of them and he saw his fair share of struggles, war, and hardship, his psalms resonate in me. So, I have purposed to start from the beginning and meditate on one chapter a day, breaking up the larger ones. Now, if I can just remember I'll share with you the insights or meanings that I get each day. So, look for those in the coming days.

I'm so proud

2008-05-01T11:15:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of my husband. He worked hard to get to this point, spent years working toward it, even when it wasn't the foremost thing on his mind - being a chaplain that is. All his schooling, all the years working in our church, they all led us to where we are now. Yesterday we met for lunch and as we were walking in to the PX, he suddenly shifted our son to his other hip. Then I saw why. A soldier smartly saluted him as they passed. My hubby saluted back. He said he had seen the soldier eyeing him from afar (probably trying to figure out what he was since the cross on the beret tends to throw some soldiers for a loop) so he switched our son to his other hip so he could salute the soldier when he was saluted. I was so proud at that moment. Not just because my husband, the officer, was saluted but also because of the soldier that saluted him. It may sound strange since I don't know that guy from Adam but I was proud of him too. Proud that he recognized an officer from afar and he made a point to salute. He even made the effort to say something to the effect of "afternoon sir."Of course, I know it's what they are supposed to do, what they are trained to do but the level of discipline, training and sacrifice these soldiers make says a lot about them. It's going to take me a while to get used to people saluting my husband. When I first saw this soldier salute I started to look around to see what was going on but then I saw my husbands arm shoot up out of the corner of my eye and was reminded, this is his life now, my life now.
It was a bittersweet day yesterday for my husbands unit. They have been associated with the 10th mountain division for a long time but were officially a part of the 16th MP. Yesterday they had a patch changing ceremony and they all took their 10th mountain patches off and put on the 16 MP. Dave said the commander got a little choked up speaking about the soldiers who they had lost while wearing the 10th mountain patch. They call their new patch the captain planet patch because it is a star with an arrow pointing up through the middle of it. Not as cool as the 10th mountain patch but they'll get used to it, I suppose. I did a little research to get the symbolism of the patch. Here it is: The star is symbolic of law enforcement, leadership and authority. The arrow represents military preparedness and protection. These symbols, along with the globe, indicate the overall mission, capabilities and operational sphere of the unit.
Pray for Dave's assistant, Josh. He's been in quarters all week. He lives in the barracks and must be miserable, fighting strep throat. Continue to pray for our housing situation. We are still doing alright in the hotel but we are getting tired of it and have started expanding our options a little.

2008-04-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? I had thought I would have plenty of time to keep this updated seeing as we are living in a hotel room but truth be told, I am expending all my energy trying to keep the kids entertained and as active as possible so they will sleep at night!
I did not accomplish all I wanted to last week. I did get our insurance switched up here but I am going to be changing it again. Turns out, with what we have right now, we are only allowed to go to the clinic on post. Well, it will take more than a month to get well baby check ups and if I have an appointment for one child, the other two are not allowed to go - however, they can't go to daycare until they have all had checkups, and we haven't been here long enough to meet babysitters. It's a big, impossible circle. So, I am now looking at two other options. One is to keep our current insurance but change it to remote. They have realized they don't have adequate coverage here and have contracted with an outside physicians group. I've talked to someone who went this route and they are pleased with their work so far. Also, I could change to a standard insurance but wouldn't be allowed to use on post doctors at all and if there is an emergency, I have to go off post to get care for my kids. Yikes!!!

Hmmm...in other news. I met Dave's chaplain assistant. He is quite talkative! I liked him though. He's seems very easy going and easy to get along with. The kids enjoyed him too. On Friday we had a playdate at J's house. She was the chaplains wife we met our first day here. We took our laundry over and did that while the kids played. Friday night we picked up Dave's assistant and went to another chaplains house for dinner. They have a huge backyard and 4 kids. Everyone had a great time. This was the chaplain whose place Dave is taking. Saturday we had dinner at our friends house - the same house we were at Friday during the day. After dinner, J offered to watch the kids watch a movie and sent us out for some time alone. We took her up on the offer but had no idea what to do. There were no movies to see so we ended up walking around the mall. I found a formal dress for the upcoming MP ball - which has been turned into a "dining out" and got it for less than 1/3 it's original price so I was very happy. We went back to J's, collected the kids, two of whom were asleep, and went back to our hotel room. Sunday we went to church, back to the hotel where the kids played on the playground with Dave while the baby slept in the room, followed by a chaplains picnic at the playground near the library. While we were there we found out about the on post Awana's meeting that night so we left a little early, ran back to the hotel to get our 5 year olds awana books, and took her there. She was very happy to be back in Awana. Even though we haven't been practicing it much lately, she still passed a section and is ready to tackle more in the next few weeks.
Now it is raining so we are stuck inside. So, it'll be time to call about the insurance stuff, followed by some reading work with our oldest. It's going to be a long day!

2008-04-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Dave called to say some of the soldiers had invited him to play basketball after work around six. When he came home just after 5 he said he didn't think he would go. I just mentioned that it might be a good idea, getting to know the guys outside of work - especially since he's commented on how hard it is to get to know MPs because they are all over the place all the time. So, he decided to go for just an hour. He came home after I had fed the kids dinner and was preparing them for bed. He had rolled his ankle and it was bothering him and is swollen. It was good he went though - only 3 other guys showed up. Those three guys will remember that he was there though!
Anyway, I had looked forward all week to an active weekend of exploring and instead we are sitting on the bed, the kids watching Little Einsteins and Dave icing his ankle. Now why did I go and encourage him to play basketball?!? :-) Oh well.
Dave is very pleased with his chaplains assistant. He's a believer and an expert shooter. I liked that. He said he loves to talk. The outgoing chaplain said that he will become like a member of our family. Dave looks forward to having him over once a week for dinner once we get a house.
Next week will be spent getting our Tricare switched to here, registering the kids with CYS, and attempting to get well child appointments with the doctor. I've been warned that this will be difficult. I had hoped to get all three in together but our youngest is 2 months behind because I missed is 15 month check up in the confusion of moving and all the change we have been dealing with so maybe I'll concentrate most on getting him in. I probably will have to get school health forms for the older two anyway. I guess I need to start looking for a preschool for the 3 year old too! I'll be a busy girl!

Playing Catch Up

2008-04-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

First, thanks to all of you who read this. So many of my friends from our home church commented on reading this and I apologize that it has been so long since I have updated. It's not that there hasn't been stuff to write...just no time to sit down and write it. Suffice it to say I have gone from living in South Carolina, to Virginia, to New Jersey to New York!! Yes, we have arrived. More on that in a bit.
First, the last week in South Carolina was crazy. I spent my days at Fort Jackson at the spouse's seminar. It was wonderful. I loved meeting other wives and especially Mary, my blogging sister! How I loved meeting you Mary!! You are just as endearing and sweet in person as in your blog. I can't wait to check out all the pictures you took. I enjoyed the Chaplains banquet and loved seeing my honey all dressed up in his uniform. I also spent that week at home packing. Dave was not able to get over the help with packing the van so my dad and future brother in law offered their muscles to put on the car top carrier. I finally resigned myself to the fact that sometimes in military life I have to do things myself and not rely on my husband. So, I stayed up late and got up early, managed to keep my little ones corralled and packed - jammed - the van full. We went to graduation and I kissed my husband goodbye as he headed up to NY. I left the next morning with my dad and headed to VA. I stayed there a week, enjoying a small birthday party for my mom and daughter and letting my 5 year old go to kindergarten at my moms school. She got to go on a safari (and a llama spit in her mouth!!!!). Last Friday I loaded the van again and headed for my in laws in NJ - just me and the kids. We survived the trip in great fashion. God granted us us mercy and grace for that leg of the trip. I arrived in NJ sane and even happy. I got to meet my niece and how I loved seeing her and spending hours holding her! I also got to go to my home church on Sunday. As soon as I walked in, I felt like I was home. Words can not describe how wonderful it was - but too short! Dave was only able to get 4 days leave so if I was to caravan back to NY with him as we had originally planned, I would have to leave after just 3 short days there. I struggled with the choice but ultimately decided to travel with Dave. We had a good trip and arrived on post around 6 (umm....1800??). The hotel room is better than I expected. It's actually two queen beds and a chair that folds out for a perfect bed for my 3 year old. The baby is doing great in his pack and play. Breakfasts are wonderful too!
Now for the great part...our first day here I went out to get the stickers for our van so we can come on post easily. That happened to be in the building where my husband works. Then, we headed to a story hour at the library. Anything to get out of the hotel room. We got there a little early so we joined one other mom and her two boys on the playground. We started chatting and I found out she is also a chaplain's wife. They arrived in September and her husband is also due to deploy this fall. So, we went to story time together, and she invited me to her home for lunch and a playdate. The kids had a blast playing and I got some good first hand information and made a friend. Want to know the kicker? She had not planned on going to the storytime yesterday because they were down to one car but her husband had called her that morning to say if she would drive him to work, she could have the car. She did and on a whim brought her boys to the library, arrived early, and were at the playground. So here are two chaplains wives with a boatload of kids how had not planned on being where we were when we were but circumstances were such that we were at the same place at the same time. Now, is that a God thing or what? I really think I made the right choice coming here when I did. Who knows if we would have met like we did if I hadn't? Oh, and she will soon have three boys - her baby is due next month.
Oh, and we are second on the list for first available housing so we'll see. Keep praying. I'll try to update more often now that we are settling a little.

Treasured Moments

2008-03-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty rough day in our house. The kids were wired, had trouble listening and obeying and were all around unruly! I think it was a mix between having celebrated our middle child's third birthday yesterday and the hint of change in the air. I started packing today in preparation for our journey to NY, starting next Saturday. There was a bright spot in the day. A sweet conversation I overheard between my 5 year old and 3 year old. I missed the first part of the conversation as I was concentrating on navigating traffic but I tuned in partway through and just treasure these moments when my 5 year old passes on her "heavenly" wisdom to her little sister. And her little sister just soaks it up like a sponge. They were talking about going to heaven. My daughter said (and if only it always happened the way she describes) "when you are sleeping, God comes down real quietly so he doesn't wake you up and he gently carries you to heaven where you will have a gold or silver house and the streets are made of gold....for real!!!!" My 3 year old mentioned my grandmother who passed away just after Thanksgiving and my 5 year old said "Yes, she is dancing with Jesus...and skipping on the sidewalk...and playing." So sweet, so innocent, so full of hope. Those moments help put everything in perspective. Life may be a little difficult for us now but it's all for the greatest cause - don't we all want to be dancing on the streets of gold with Jesus? And why would we want to keep that hope from anyone - soldier, neighbor, child, friend?

Pictures

2008-03-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

Our "baby" getting into trouble. "What are all these cords?"

These next two pictures were the aftermath of the SpongeBob attacks episode from Sunday's lunch. He hid under this bear. Doesn't he look so pitiful?!

These next three are the before and after of his haircut. The first is after my attempt to trim it up and the second and third are the "like Daddy" haircut.

Some Easter pictures.

Pictures of the girls playing "Sleeping Beauty" with their new friends. The boys were happily obliging.

My exhausted guys! It's hard work being this handsome!

I have just a few Easter pictures. Most were taken with Dave's camera and he has that at Fort Jackson. Here's sharing just a little of our lives, recently.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we just have two weeks left! We had a full weekend. We put our family pass to zoo to good use on a beautiful Saturday. We saw my kids favorite animal - "the monkeys with the pink butts" - among others. We really enjoyed watching the apes swinging around their habitat. We also walked up to the botanical gardens and enjoyed early flowers. We decided to take the kids back down the hill in the tram. Of course, after waiting for quite a while - especially with three restless kids - we got on the tram and the truck that pulls it broke down! We sat and waited for the employees to bring a new truck. I didn't realize how sunny it was and when I got home this fair skin of mine was burned. It was kind of funny because I had on a necklace with a rectangular pendant that left a stark white mark surrounded by red.
Obviously, today was Easter. The kids left their Easter baskets out for the Easter bunny and the girls were very excited to find them filled this morning. After searching through the goodies, we got all dressed up in our Easter finery and headed to Chapel Next. My kids were so adorable, if I do say so myself. If any of the 50 pictures we took turned out halfway decent, I'll post. After church, we grabbed a quick lunch at the PX where there was a huge inflatable SpongeBob set up. We made the mistake of picking a table near that. Our 17 month old didn't notice - until it fell! Then he must have thought it was alive because he started shrieking and trying with every ounce of his being to get out of his high chair. Such gymnastic moves, I have never seen! Everytime he would get distracted, the inflatable would fall or he would suddenly look at it and the hysterics would start again. I ended up having to take him out. I asked my husband if, when he's 14, I can tell him he was afraid of a big yellow sponge. I apologize now to his future wife - he may never help clean! :-) I'm starting to put away the pennies now for therapy.
After lunch, we headed back to our place and then to pick up my grandmother for a birthday get together for her at my aunts. My grandmother is 91 now! There were 8 kids there, my 5 year old being the oldest. They had a blast on the trampoline. My two girls were playing Sleeping Beauty with two little boys. My two would lie down on the trampoline and pretend to be asleep. Then they were instructed by my 5 year old that to wake them up, the boys had to give the girls hugs. It was really sweet to watch. THEN, my baby boy decided it would be fun to squish dog poop in his hand. Yuck!! That was a load of fun! We finally got home for the evening and I am ready to crash.
Happy Easter everyone!

Sigh...

2008-03-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't pretend to know what God's plan for us is. Dave called to say he was just informed that he will not be joining the 2-14. They have now decided not to tell people where they will be assigned 'cause too many people are getting screwed up and things keep changing. So, he doesn't know where he will be, he was just told that he will be placed in a unit that is deploying within a year but that he will have enough time to get us settled, get our oldest in school, etc. He said he is following a good chaplain who is leaving until next month so hopefully there will be a little overlay and he can get some tips and pointers. Our guess is he will probably deploy sometime around November but we don't know anything for sure. I can't say I am surprised. I am disappointed, but not surprised. On with good news, he was told housing looks pretty good for us, if we are willing to take one of the older homes. Apparently if we hold out for one of the ones they are building, it could be a while. I don't mind an older house. We'll have to see when we get there. The temporary housing is really going to stink though. Essentially, we will have two double beds for the 5 of us and no kitchen. Yuck! So, for those of you praying for us, keep praying!!

USACHCS Spouses's coffee

2008-03-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. But this time it is a good tired. I had the fortune to go to the spouses coffee tonight. My sister was willing to watch the kids and I was looking forward to a little time out of the house along with meeting some women in the same boat as me and even some with years of experience under their belt.
I met a woman who has just come from Fort Drum. She gave me her contact info so I can ask her any questions before I get there. She has a brand new baby too. Just 7 weeks old! She also has three older kids. She was very sweet and encouraging about Fort Drum. Her husband is in the C4 class. She did have a funny story about being up there. After being on the housing waiting list for 15 months, they got a call that a house was available the week before movers were coming to move them here! :-) She thinks we'll have better luck though because they were a low priority. She also gave me a heads up on a Christian school/preschool where their kids attended so I have somewhere to start when looking for a preschool for our 3 year old.
I was one of the last to leave. I got to talking to the commandantes wife. She's a very friendly woman who I look forward to learning more from when the spouse's seminar starts. I also won a prize! I didn't do anything for it. My plate just happened to be the one with the smiley face on the bottom. I got a gerbera daisy plant. I am so happy about it. They are my favorite flowers!
So, it's been a good day.
Dave is in the field again. He left at 0430 this morning and won't be back til Friday. I miss the daily phone call check in's but I know he is doing something he loves and he is very excited that they get to do Victory Tower this time. I made him promise to take his camera and ask someone to take his picture. I assured him any guy there with a wife at home would understand his situation! So I hope I will have pictures of all he's done soon.

2008-03-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'll start with a few "out of the mouths of babes" comments from my own children and follow it with an awesome story of something that happened tonight.
1. Last weekend when Dave was so sick I took the kids to Pizza Hut as a treat. When we left, I was still in a treat giving mood so I told them we were going to get another special treat. We pulled into a local fast food restaurant that the girls aren't familiar with. Immediately my 5 year old starts asking if we are getting milkshakes (which we were). I respond in my Mommy knows but mommy is neither confirming or denying the existence of milkshakes in your future voice "I don't know." Well, my 5 year old comes back with "that means we are. Mommy, I know your voice and whenever you say 'I don't know' (here she mimics my tone of voice and inflections perfectly) that means we are getting it!" It made me smile.
2. We've been talking a lot lately about going "up" to New York in a few weeks. Today we were talking about something and my almost 3 year old matter of factly states that first we have to get a ladder so her sister can climb down. She apparently took us very literally and thought NY was up in the sky! :-) Too cute.
Now for what happened tonight. We got another tornado warning for our county. Since it was just dinner time we decided to take the kids out to dinner. We figured we would be safer in a restaurant then in our mobile home. We decided on Applebees. The girls were very happy because we NEVER go there with them - it's just too expensive when you add in all the kids meals. We were just about to pay the bill when the manager came over and told us to get whatever we wanted. A gentleman had just left and told the manager he didn't want us to know who he was but that he saw Dave was in the military and wanted to cover our bill. He then gave the manager a 100 bill and told him to give the rest to the waitress! The only identifying things on Dave were his PT shirt and his military style haircut. Of course, the guy could have been sitting close enough to hear something in our conversation that indicated military service, or he could have seen us pull up and seen the army bumper stickers. Whatever it was, we were stunned. When we recovered, we ordered dessert! What a treat - for us and our waitress!! I don't have the words to explain what that was like. It's just one of those speechless moments, one of those times when you know someone appreciates whatever sacrifices you might make and in the end it's just one of those God things that come along when you least expect it and creates such a feeling of thankfulness.

2008-03-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here she is, my beautiful niece. I can't wait to hold her!

I'm an aunt!

2008-03-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

I am an aunt for the first time! My husbands sister had her first baby, a girl, this afternoon. I feel like I have made my first real sacrifice for army life. I want to be there so badly. If we hadn't followed God's leading on this path, we would have been there. I think she is beautiful and I can't wait to hold her in a few weeks when we go back home before we head to Fort Drum. So, today I am ecstatic but also a little sad. I am so happy she is finally here, safe and sound but I am sad that I am not there to greet her. Of course, the happiness outweighs it all. Congratulations to my sister in law and her husband!

2008-03-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...what to update? If you read my husbands blog you know he as been pretty sick for several days. He forced himself back to PT and class today. I think he was just tired of being all alone and he was missing out on some important information in class.
My sister is on spring break and back in VA so I didn't have any help this weekend with all the kids. We did surprisingly well. The kids behaved themselves and the time change didn't affect them too adversely. I even braved taking them to Blockbuster today and letting them pick out two movies! They were very well behaved there as well. I am quite impressed with my little ones. I guess that means we are due for a blow up soon! :-)
I have read and received so many encouraging blogs and comments recently. Thank you to everyone who comments and to those of you who post your own honest feelings, findings, and God things on your own blogs.
I am sorry I don't have anything particularly interesting to write today. I think of things late at night when my body is exhausted but my mind just won't shut off but then during the day, my mind is a complete blank - just trying to get the four of us safely through the day. I look forward to the return of my sister and the recovery of my husband so I can get those much needed breaks.
Oh, one bit of news. My husband got his projected assignment for when we get to Fort Drum. It was good news and what he wanted. I am starting to get anxious to get there and settle in. I'm also looking forward to getting the two older kids in school for the fall. That will be a nice break! Oh and one more thing, we took the "baby" to get his first hair cut on Sunday. This was the first haircut not consisting of a butcher job by mommy. I held him and he screamed until he finally resigned himself to the buzzer. He's 16 months old and looks so cute. I'll try to get a picture up soon. Such a big boy.

2008-03-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

As we are in the final month of Dave's training here at Fort Jackson, I can't help but think about the future. Oftentimes I find my mind wandering to the what ifs and worrying about things I have no control over. I know I just need to enjoy the moments we have and make the most of every one but on those long dark nights when I can't fall asleep, my brain just won't turn off. Now, I love to read. I can lose myself in a good book and find myself living the lives, seeing the sights, feeling their joys and sorrows. When I graduated high school, I was reading a Christian fiction book and the girl was describing what she was looking for in a future husband. It resonated with me and I actually wrote that description down and put it in my wallet. I had all but forgotten about it until I met Dave over 2 years later. I pulled out that scrap of paper and realized that he met that description that had struck me as so perfect years before. Perhaps it's that reading sometimes helps me focus my often scattered and disjointed thoughts. It's happened again. My thoughts have been disjointed and scattered. I often felt like my prayers were coming up short of what my heart was really feeling and though I know God knows my heart, it was frustrating not to be able to come up with the right words. Last night I was finishing up another book in which two brothers were saying good bye. The prayer they said was so simple but really touched on what I wanted to say and I share it now as I am sure all of us will need this kind of prayer at one point or another. "Father, I see now more than ever my own weakness, my own needs. I ask for your blessing upon these good people, and upon me as well. Whatever it is that I should do, whatever it is that awaits me, help me to journey into the future as your servant."

2008-02-27T17:21:00.000-08:00

I should know better than to blog late at night. The world is always a brighter place in the light of day. I guess you could also say the world is a brighter place with the light of God. Just put yourself there, and things seem just a bit better. After I wrote that last post, I went to take a bath. I lowered my head so all but my face was immersed in the water and all I could hear was my own pulse beating in my ears and I talked to God. When I opened my eyes, there on the side of the tub was a toy my son had been playing with earlier in the day during his bath - the whale from his Jonah and the whale set. At that moment I was reminded of what I had said early in this process - we are so much better off in less than ideal situations (by OUR estimation) and in the middle of God's will for our lives than we are if we try to create the ideal situation and ignore God's leading. Jonah may not have wanted to go to Ninevah, endured being tossed over a ship and swallowed by a big fish in the effort to pursue a happier alternative to God's direction, but in the end decided to obey God and was saved. Then I looked up at the wall and there are flowers all over the paneling. I was immediately reminded of Matthew 6 about how God cares even for the flowers and the birds - how much more should He care for me and my family as we try to follow His will even when it leads to trying, hard times. So, I am in a better place today. God is on His throne and I am at His feet, ready to obey and follow.

Sick and tired....tired and sick

2008-02-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

The first 6 weeks Dave was at Fort Jackson I did really well. I managed to get done whatever needed doing. Then I got sick and I haven't been able to kick it. I guess I was slowly wearing down, by most evenings I was getting headaches and was thoroughly physically and mentally exhausted. On Friday it all came tumbling down. I woke up with a cough, sore throat, waves of nausea hit me every time I stood up, my back burned,my legs ached, and I had chills. The only good thing was my head didn't hurt so I was able to function enough to keep the kids fed, changed, and in one piece. I didn't move out of the living room chair unless I absolutely had to though. By the time Dave arrived at the trailer that night, I had spiked a fever over 100. To top it all off, I was supposed to bring a cake, three batches of cookies and an ice cream cake to a family reunion/birthday party on Saturday and I was only about halfway through with the baking. Thank God, I woke up Saturday feeling a ton better with just the cough and sensitive throat hanging on. I got right to work baking cookies and putting the cake together. We went to the party, had a wonderful time then came home. I was exhausted from a full day. I still have not been able to shake the cough and it's about all I can do to get to the kids bedtimes before I collapse in the chair.
I know I am the lucky one too. At least we are close enough to Dave while he is in training that he can come here on the weekends. I'm dreading deployment simply because I don't know how I will make it through day in and day out without Dave to come in and take up some of the burden. Of course, by then, our oldest will be back in public school and the plan is to have the middle child in preschool part time as well. Those breaks will be wonderful. Come summertime I guess we'll have to take extended vacations to family - or maybe I'll just ship the kids to the grandparents and I'll go crazy alone in the house! :-) I suppose this time is a blessing in disguise. It's as much training for me as it is for Dave. It gives me a little taste of what the future must hold for me. And while I am sure it doesn't touch what life will be like when Dave actually deploys, it does make me think about what I can do to prepare for that. It forces me to acknowledge that I will need help and to prepare myself to be willing and ready to accept it when it is offered instead of thinking I can do it all. Now I leave it in God's hands to prepare those people and have them in place to be helping hands when I need them. It seems like such a petty little thing right now, thinking of someone else helping me raise my own kids but I have three, they are little, and their daddy won't be around for a time to offer help so their mommy needs to be whole, rested, and energized. Okay, this post has taken a depressing turn. There are no deployment orders yet, I'll not focus on that.
That said, I'll use an old saying- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!!

Prayer

2008-02-20T18:32:00.000-08:00

I went to prayer meeting with my grandmother tonight. We had a big focus on the bigger picture - looking outside just their church to the world picture, missionaries, politicians, our troops. As we were praying for the troops I felt a burden to pray more specifically for our chaplains. I'm not one who prays out loud - I've always been too introverted but I was fervently praying in my mind and heart and the words were just stumbling over themselves. Prayer for the deployed chaplains - non combatant and completely trusting their Saviour and their chaplains assistants training to keep the safe. With hardly a thought to themselves, they go where they are needed, being Jesus hands and feet to our soldiers. They are on call day and night to any who need to talk, hoping, praying for the chance to share Christ and make a difference for even just one. I prayed for those same deployed chaplains when they come home. They will all be changed by what they have seen, the burdens they have shared with the soldiers. I prayed for the families, the spouses, they come home to who can't begin to understand what they have seen or share in the burdens being to war must bring. I prayed that while the chaplain is being changed at war, God will be working in the lives of the family left at home so that they remain a match when he returns. At the same time these chaplains are trying to adjust to being back with their families, they are also dealing with the soldiers who came home to a family who has left or decided they can't live with this changed soldier, soldiers who are suicidal, depressed, traumatized by what they had to see and do in war. I prayed for the chaplains left on posts who have to go on death notices, perhaps performing funeral services, and attending to whatever funeral preparations may be asked of them. These burdens they take on willingly for just the chance to share the love, mercy, and grace they have found in Jesus and to shine his light in a dark world. There was so much more to pray and I found myself hoping that others would pray that prayer with me - even as I look to the inevitable future when my husband may be one of those deployed chaplains.